Why do some men hurt a woman who truly cares for him?

It honestly makes no sense to me. I know I am not perfect by anyways, no one is, but I tried so hard. I feel like my efforts never amount to anything for this guy. We dated for nine months. He literally made it his goal to get me to open up to him. Well i did but then he wouldn't do the same for me... I know i am an idiot for this next part but he dumped me four times. I took him back everytime. Now its been two months since we broke up and I allowed him to borrow a large sum of money. I feel so hurt and used. I am pissed yet sad. I was nothing but good to this guy. I would go out of my way for him all the time but he always seemed to blame me for everything and made me feel like i am a bad person. I just dont understand what the hell is wrong with people anymore. Having a good heart is the most useless virture I have and I am sick of it. I just want to understand why people just think its okay to hurt people to the point they will honestly never be the same afterwards. Sorry the rant, i just seriously pissed and hurt.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That may be one of the shittiest situations I have seen on here. I don’t think it is about gender at all. I have known girls that do the same thing. It sounds more like you are the type of person that is so incredibly sweet that you will do whatever you can for the people in your life. My brother is like that too and every once in a while it puts him in a crappy situation but never as bad as yours. Don’t get me wrong it is not a weakness I think the fact that you can stay true to yourself despite having assholes in your life is admirable. And because of that your true friends I am sure love you dearly.

    It is totally justifiable to be pissed off. If you want me to go kick the guys as I will.

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    • I am to sweet. I mean I have my mean streak as we all do!!! but this guy used me... like for sex... 1200 dollars,,, my heart. Dude, its this shit on why I've only had one other boyfriend. People just have no regard for peoples feelings anymore and i am to sensitive to handle having my feelings played with.

      However, although he did hurt me badly, i do not think he deserves to be hurt as well. Stupid I know but two wrongs do not make a right. I would never wish this type of heart break on to anyone. Not even my worst enemy. IT changes people.

    • Show All
    • HAHA well greetings from Tennessee, we have PLENTY of rain to give you. Its rained a week straight no lie.

    • We should be getting some pretty good rain tomorrow apparently El Nino is back so lots of rain… and snow for some of us.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys complain that they can't find a good and faithful woman but when they do find one they end up doing her wrong. Men are hypocrites I swear

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    • Girl, they really are. It's sad because they usually end up during a good girl into a bitch. Then that bitch turns a good guy into a dick. It's a never ending cycle. I don't understand why people just don't know how to act now days.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • "Having a good heart is the most useless virture I have and I am sick of it."

    please don't. A lot of people have this same mindset but what if the next guy comes along truly cares for you and then you hurt him out of bitterness from your past? You're just taking suffering and passing it on to the next person when you should have it end with you. Finding true love can really suck ass sometimes but it can be worth it if you endure through all the assholes because there are guys out there that will appreciate how hard you work to make them happy and they'll do everything they can to make you happy in return. Don't give up!

    What you need to do is think why you kept taking this guy back. Find out what you truly want in a partner and where things went wrong with your ex so this same mistake doesn't get repeated in the future.

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    • Yea, I doubt I will want anyone for a very long time. Not after someone messed with me this bad. And I don't need to think about what went wrong I already know all that. It was some on both parts but mainly his.

      Regardless, having my heart ripped out every time I date isn't really worth finding the right one to me.

    • I understand. I personally think it's good to be single for a while after a breakup (especially as one as damaging and messy as your breakup was). Hope you have better luck with boys in the future.

  • You have a right to your feelings but you placed yourself in a position to be hurt

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  • goes both ways ! my ex girlfriend treated me like crap as well, just a week of not being together and she went to this fetish party with a 23 yo, she is 32. im 27 by the way, and today she wrote on her fb wall : drop your seamen at me. i texted her a long text about how discusted i am by her, that she is a horrible 32 yo mother of a 4 yo little girl, and that she abused my trust. she doesn't excist to me anymore, i trusted her, i gave her my heart and this is how she handles it. so please, its women who treat men also as crap. i did everything for her, while her louzy friends only want to have fun. fuck her , she will get her karma, she is bounded to cruches for life and the day she ends up in a wheelchair, i won't be there to push it forward for her. im a really cool, relaxed guy who goes long ways to make someone happy, but after this party, im disgusted by her, first thing ill do is to get a STD test.

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    • I never said that women do not hurt men. It does go both ways. However, I do not think you should hold on to all that bitterness. Yea, I know she hurt you badly, but if you just keep going without wishing anything bad on go her or paying her no mind you essentially win. I know that may be hard but if I was that bitter about what this guy did to me id only be hurting myself.

      I hope all gets well soon :))

    • i guess we feel the same then, i remember a quote from dumbledore in the HP movies, he said '' Kindness, a trait people never seem to undervalue'' . Like you i'm a very kind person, i stay calm and i take in a lot of BS. I'm responsible and i'm sincerely concerned for the wellbeing of the people i care about. I did everything for her, and never complained once. I will lose the bitterness but i'm still angry, this week i return her a gift she gave me. A keychain shaped in a heart. with a small note saying. ''Your words were nothing but shallow promises. I cared about you, trusted you and was intimate with you, but you abused my trust. I return this to you because its nothing more then a reminder of your lies. I don't feel contempt for you, i dont know what i feel, but i do know that what i felt for you was sincere. Maybe one day you will think better of me ! '' by the way you are an awesome girl, you look good, and you have a kind heart, wanna meet up haha? :p i had it with selfish bitches

What Girls Said 2

  • Men always lies.. liar...

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  • Because some men are afraid of commitment

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