Why is he taking ages to take his stuff if he doesn't want to come back?

Me and my boyfriend split just nearly 2 months ago i had to ask him to leave due to him spending more time out than at home with me and our baby. I wanted him to see what he had and see if he chose to fight for us but after a heart to heart last week he said he doesn't want to come back because he thinks we will end up bringing up arguments from the past. The only stuff he's taken is what i packed he keeps saying he's going to take more stuff but hasn't and all his personal stuff is still here. I always ask him to leave his key but he never does.
So why if he doesn't want to come back is he not taken everything yet or left his key?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is dragging his feet for some reason but he shouldn't be playing mind games with you and it's sad cause of the baby.. I wish you the best of luck and hope things get brighter for you.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Go to the court house and file for an eviction based on abandonment. Then once the allotted time set by the judge is over you can legally throw the stuff away or keep it , give it away ; what ever you want to do with it

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  • he still loves you and not ready to end it yet so he still want to use it as means of coming home because we both know if he take all his stuff and return the key he has no access to u again... so sit him down and know what makes he do what he does... who know he fault may come from u

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    • I asked for the key again today but he said ill keep it for now incase of emergency. Whats the for now all about. he's said he doesn't want to come bk but dont mean we can't be good parents. This is why im confused cuz what he says & what he's doing are 2 diff things. He says rest his stuff he's getting Sunday but we will see

  • You can't make him return the key or get his stuff. But you can:
    1. Change the locks.
    2. Put his stuff outside and tell him to come get it.
    3. File for child support.

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  • He is keeping an option open.

    For your own health have the locks changed and tell him his stuff will be at the curb on trash day.

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    • But surely if you know you dont want to be with someone you wouldn't need to keep options open?

    • One could feel that they don't want to be with someone but still keep their options open so they don't end up alone.. Definitely would change the locks. I wouldn't say trash his stuff. Try to not to cause any issues with each other, just let him know that you're changing the locks and that if he'd like his stuff come get it and if he doesn't it just drop it off with his family or something.

  • If i were you, change the locks to the house, throw all his shit outside spread out, and put a note saying get bent. Oh, keep the most vauluable shit you can find. Sure it's a dick move but he sure deserves for keeping you as a option.

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    • Except i have to see him regularly because we have a baby otherwise thats what id be doing

What Girls Said 5

  • I personally, think he just does not care about the situation.
    If you don't want to keep his stuff forever you should give him a deadline.
    Tell him if he doesn't pick up his things you will throw them out.

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  • He is unsure and doesn't know if what you guys had will come once again. He can't have his cake and eat it to so you need to explain either he takes his belongings or he stays.

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  • He's either a) doing it to spite you b) won't accept its over. Either way its his way of having control over you. Put it in the post and just change the lock.

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    • Dont think its spite. He said he's getting stuff Sunday so will see and when i asked for the key he said he will keep it for now incase of emergency

  • Change the locks. Then put the rest of his personal effects on the front lawn & call him to pick them up.

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    • I can't be too bitchy about it as we have a baby so will still see him a lot this is the problem

    • Then I would at the very least have the locks changed.

    • can't afford to at the moment. He never uses it thats weird thing cuz he's never been here when im not here as my neighbours would say or my friend who lives 3 doors up

  • Maybe he's hoping that you'll ask him to come back.

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