Is it possible that we will get back together after a clean breakup?

My boyfriend broke up with me about 9 months ago because he didn't want to be in a relationship at that moment. He said he would consider dating me in the future cause he still liked me and wanted to remain good friends, just not date right now.(my friends think he broke up with me cause none of his friends are dating anyone right now) I gave him some space for a while, then the first time we hung out together(which was 2 months later) we sorta hooked up, I thought this ment we were getting back together, but he said it was too soon, it just felt right to be with me. I stopped talking to him for a while, mainly to try and get over him, because it hurt to think of us as broken up. recently(past month) we have been fairly close, we text lots for hours on end and hang out, we sat watching movies until 4am and he seamed to be having fun. whenever we got up to get a drink or food he would make light touches, like put his hand on my back etc. I really enjoy spending time with him and I know I'm not over him, I tried dating someone else. but it just didn't feel right. I find myself being more jealous of him talking to girls, I honestly didn't care about him talking/hanging out with other girls when we were dating, but now its different. He is one of my closest friends, do you think there will ever be a future for us? we are 19 and dated for about 6 months before. does anyone have any similar stories to this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anything is possible in the future, but for the time being, regardless of light touches, and flirtations, don't get your hopes up. I've seen it before, guy breaks up with girl, they hook up once in a while, girl thinks they're getting back together, guy is just having his cake and eating it too. He's not tied down to you AND he can get with you. I am not saying he's using you or doesn't have feelings for you, but acting like this is only going to end up hurting you a lot.

    I have a personal rule I follow: if you don't want to date me, you don't get me at all.

    Sure, I've had a couple of make-out sessions with guys I know were only interested because they found me attractive, but I was also bored and wanted attention. I've never done anything more, and never continued past 1-2 makeout sessions. Or feelings WILL creep in. And I would be the one getting hurt.

    My advice to you is to NOT expect anything, regardless what he says, if it's not anything that directly says - let us be together again, I want to date you.

    Furthermore, keep him at a safe distance when you ARE hanging out. Meaning, as much as you enjoy those light touches and flirtations, etc., you're reading more into them that he means by them. If he doesn't want all of you, he doesn't get to act like you're with him.

    If you are jealous of girls he talks to, talk to lots of guys. Flirt with guys in front of him. Don't be slutty, don't hook up with random people, etc, but just show him that you don't consider him priority number one. Why should you? He broke up with YOU.

    Overall, I think lots of distance is the best idea, but I don't think you would follow the advice of cutting off all contact. It is exceedingly difficult to do. I've tried and failed. But it is the best.

    Also, I'd like to say to the fact that you're 19, all you really need is a new interest. It sounds shallow and like a rebound, but it's true. You have so much ahead of you and right now IS the time to meet lots of new people, get to know them, and have many options. I don't mean this in hook-up with different guys every weekend, I mean it in a date different people and have fun. I don't know if you see the difference because I didn't explain it very well, but overall, I wish I'd spent more time getting to know people at university, than being in a relationship.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Never say never ms, as long as he shows the slight interest and your showing interest as well, there will always be a little chance no matter what. In this case time itself is your best friend, let time be, so both of you can get along real good as friends. Almost to the point where its a no brainer to him, that you both must get back together, and this time all over again. Just be yourself and let this like be, good luck to both of you, and stay stronger than strong ms.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I was in the exact situation, we dated for about a year before this all happened... I thought he broke up with me cause we both graduated college and were starting our lives in the real world so I thought he just needed time to focus on that for a while... well we did the whole hook up thing for a while till I told him it needed to stop that if he wanted to be friends that's all we would be... that went really good for a really long time, I felt like we were gonna get back together really soon...until one day he randomly told me he got a gf, I was shocked...it was out of no where and it sucked, I wasted all that time on him... so be careful and if I were you I would ask him, tell him to be honest...i wish I would have known there was no hope of us...

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  • I don't have a similiar story. But have you gotten the chance to talk to him? Maybe you should tell him how you are feeling right now, and ask him if hee's ready, because you can't keep waiting for him. Or are you willing to pass the rest of your life waiting on for him, waiting for him to feel okay to be with you? I don't think so, if he loves you and likes you the way he does then he should go after you after 9 months don't you think?

    Ask him how he feels and if he truly sees you in his future, because whther you see it or not, its a way of him playing with your feelings because YOUR NOT OVER HIM and every time you guys hangout and stuff you just end up getting close to him, and in the end, your going to get really hurt.

    I hope you realize what's right.

    Good Luck :-)

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  • Make sure you avoid the friend zone, once you're there it can be hard to get back out. You want him to see you as more than that, so maybe withdraw from him for a little bit.

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    • I agree with the best answer but I have to agree with this one too, don't be his best buddy. be his "special" friend, show him that re not the same as his other chick friends...

  • I don't think that is a good idea to get back together.

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  • I would not count on it. Everything about your contact is likely to feel good to you because you did not want the breakup and would like to be back with him. It doesn't help that he said he did not want to be in a relationship "at that moment". I have seen so many times where this just ends badly with the person who brokeup ending up with a new girlfriend/boyfriend and the other person who was hanging on being shocked by it. And I agree with jeeperss, if a guy isn't going to date you, he gets no other benefits. You need to keep your guard up when around him, otherwise you will just be his temporary booty fix until he does find a new girlfriend. Hey, he obviously likes you, he just doesn't like you enough to have a relationship with you.

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