Should I have made him leave?

So after much debate, i left my boyfriend at his sisters without saying a Word. When he called i told him it wasn't a good idea he come back home. The reason, he needs to figure out if he wants me for good and if he's ready to make that commitment. And honestly I don't know if im ready for a commitment. I love him So much he's amazing but is this what we want? Were only 24 and 26. We were trying to figure it out while still living together but i just snapped and walked away. I feel like this time apart will allow us to think in a clearer way. Did i make the right choice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • But this can not be the best way , anyway ,... it is hard to say...


Most Helpful Girl

  • ~~ The following answer assumes that you both own the home together & share expenses: ~~

    'We own a place together. We've shared expenses for said place. I'm insecure and don't know if I want to be with this person, BUT I feel it's prudent that he make the determination if he wants to be with me. In order to force him to do this, I'm going to abandon him at a place we visit, commandeering our sole mode of transportation, with no way to get back home other than to bum a ride from someone else. I then headed back to the home (that we both own) and said despite it being his home too, only I deserve to come back to it because I feel entitled to force him to make a decision about something I myself haven't even made a decision about, and think he should remain homeless until he does (while I sit in the comfort of my home, that we both own). '


    Unless he was abusive or displayed some sort of inappropriate behavior towards you, you had no right to kick him out of his own home (that he owns too) just because you feel entitled to a decision. If anything, you've given him more motivation to give up on the relationship.

    ~~ If you own the home & take responsibility for the expenses: ~~
    You legally have the right to kick anyone off the property at any time (assuming there's no signed agreements stating otherwise), but if you care about this person and they considered it their home, then it was an extremely inconsiderate thing to do (assuming he wasn't being a dick).

    ~~ If he owns the home & takes responsibility for the expenses: ~~
    He should end his relationship with you right now and force you to move out.

    • I stayed becuse i have 2 kids. Its just him, he said he would leave (he has somewhere else to be) and he just wasn't. So yeah i felt bar but at the same time was i and 2 kids suppose to leave instead of him?

    • Show All
    • We live in a apartment, we split the bills.

    • In that case...

      The fact that you have 2 kids makes no difference. Someone could say, 'Oh, well I have a lot of stuff and it's harder for me to move out so...' but that doesn't give them a license for bad behavior. It's his home too (he pays his way), so until you assume all financial responsibility then you have no right to expect someone to leave the premises. Just because he said he would leave, doesn't mean he's not still paying for half the roof over your & your kids' heads.

      If you need some space, then you need to come to a mutual decision that's fair for both parties. You better realize he's being really nice about this (letting you stay in a place he's paying 1/2 of and saving you the inconvenience of moving) for the time being. Your emotional needs don't give you the right to evict someone from their home.

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What Guys Said 1

  • This is why I don't date.


What Girls Said 2

  • Your theory could be beneficial but how you did it wasn't the best. It isn't okay to just up and leave then expect him to not come home, especially if you live together: that's his home too. You should have discussed it and had a MUTUAL agreement to take a temporary break, because you're in a relationship that involves two lives, not just one. You should make those decisions together.

    • Well we had talked about it, but nothing was happening. I felt like if i didn't take the cha, ce to Wall away it wouldn't have happened. And i dont want yo stay in a relationship any longer then i have to when were unsure of if we want to Dolly commit to eachother. Hed say he was going to go for a few days then never leave.

    • I still would have given him more notice then just getting up and leaving but that's just me personally. If I love someone I couldn't do that.

  • Yes. Time spent apart can help add clarity but try to focus and not just start to miss certain things any cave in.


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