My ex is plainly and simply being mean to me.. what should I do?

He ended it several months ago. He wanted to stay friends but I refused, saying that I needed time away from him. Two weeks later, he texted me asking if I wanted to hang out. I refused, using the same excuse as before. He texted me again a week after, asking the same thing to which he got the same answer. He got upset and started talking trash on me. During the time I was away from him, I met someone else I absolutely loved. I showed us off so my ex would get the message, but he became even more clingier. After spring, he moved back home so I was finally at peace. But during summer, he texted me again.. asking where I were, with whom and what I was doing. I told him I was gone on the east coast. I wrote him short, vague answers so he'd get that I didn't want him to know anything about me or even think that I was happy to talk to him. After that, I didn't hear of him for a month. He texted again last week to ask me the same things. I had erased his number and unfriended him from Facebook, so I didn't know who that was. He first texted but I pretended to be someone else, inferring that I had changed my number. And my ex started talking trash on me! He said that I was a liar and that i "pretended to have a great life so everyone who's dumb enough to believe me would think I was super cool". It really hurt me! He even tried to message me on Facebook the day after to again ask me the same dam thing! I blocked his number and his Facebook. Why is he being such a jerk? why does he need to do that and try to hurt me? I haven't done anything wrong but trying to stay away from him..! Even if he hates me, why does he need to contact me and know about my life? I'm probably gonna see him again cause we go to the same school... And meeting him is the last thing on earth I wanna do!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • ex's can become your worst enemy due to the pain they feel once they realise what they have lost, and for it to become apparent that your actually getting on with your life without them, often fills them with hate and the obvious jealousy, so just ignore every effort he makes to get in touch, this way your not fuelling his hate and jealousy, and eventually, he will go away and let you live your new life without him, Phew" lol, good luck, x

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What Guys Said 6

  • Well, refusing to be friends was the right thing to do, however you mishandled a lot after that. When he texts, you don't respond to anything he says, you simply say you are not talking to him, nothing else. Then you block his number. You do not need to do anything else, including showing him pictures of your new life cause its just not his business. Now any time you listen and acknowledge his stupidity it just encourages more so ignore anything he says and go on about your life.

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    • Yea, I wasn't showing him any pictures of my life but I was posting some of the things I was doing with the new guy on FB so our former mutual friends and him could see that I have moved on.

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    • Well, see, there you go again not being stupid.

    • Thanks!
      It's hard to stop being nice.. I didn't want to have to do this, but now I don't have the choice anymore. My boyfriend got really upset and, since he's really protective and posessive when it comes to this kind of stuff, I'm afraid he might snap on my ex sooner or later (he has a very thin temper and gets mad really fast, but he'd never hurt me).

  • Took you long enough to block him.
    The only thing you did wrong was taking too long to do that and, being vague or giving hints instead of not replying at all or openly saying "leave me alone".

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    • I know.. I had already told him that I needed time away from him, but he texted just two weeks later. As if two weeks were enough time to get over someone... I did tell him to leave me alone, but he showed up everytime.
      At one point, he didn't text me anymore so I thought he got the message. But I bumped into him at the gym (I ignored him at first, but he saw me) and he suddenly seemed to remember that I existed..! The day after, I received a text from his roommate who invited me to "go for a walk". I refused. And the week after, it was him texting me to hang out. I don't feel like I did anything wrong or was being vague. I really thought that refusing his invitations were a clear message that I didn't want to see him.

  • First off be more confident in yourself. Breathe and move forward and tighten your friendships with other friends.

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    • There's no problems with that, I'm confident and myself and have no problem socializing at all. I just want him to leave me alone and stop nearly harrasing me to know where I am or what I'm doing. I blocked him from everything, but I'm scared that I will have to deal with him again!

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    • What ever works just be positive

    • Yes, I will.

  • my dear he still loves you just the jealousy and anger in him that you are with another guy is burning him... accept him back and you will see changes

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    • Uuuuh.. even if he does, I will never take him back. He dumped me and made me go through serious shiz when I started seeing another guy.

    • I don't ever want to deal with him again!

  • You need to find someone to help you confront him. Call the cops if you have to.

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  • Break all ties with your ex... block him from all contact... if you need contact law enforcement to put a stop to him.. why put yourself through all the drama?

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    • That's what I did! I thought he'd never text me again, but when I saw his message last week, it bugged me so much..! I decided to block him of everything (number, FB, etc). I didn't want to have to do this, but he asked for it. Really!

    • You made the right choice

What Girls Said 5

  • Oh honey the stories I could tell you. That is emotional abuse and he is being a little bitch cos you are happy. Not only are you happy but you're not pining after him and that has bruised his ego. Steer clear of him he is a horrible person and has no clue how to treat a lady. I know it's hard but you need to try forget the things he's said to you. They're not true. You make your own happiness in this world and some choose to create only destruction and misery. Don't let him get inside your head x

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    • I think you're right, he can't stand that I'm not clinging to him and being desperate to get his attention back! He's so selfish, arrogant and full of himself that he hates having someone "resisting" him. He actually is the one thinking that he's all that and that no one should put him aside.

    • It's over now so just keep your head up when he texts don't respond at all. If you get a text that seems odd off a new number ask your boyfriend to ring it for you and see who it is or don't reply until they text again. Protect yourself from him x

  • He's being a jerk because you moved on and he can't handle it. Just ignore his ass and quit entertaining his bullshit.

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  • Ugh cause he has his own issue with the break up that he apparently didn't agree to end it and the only way he can cope is make sure you stay single and you offering up info on your whereabouts short or vague when he asks kinda let's him know it's okay to continue to do whatever he has to to check up keep up and make sure you don't have a life or that he's at least on your mind. You just need to be blunt and if you have be rude as hell do it if he's not referring to you as b!*check by the end of it all he didn't get the message

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    • That makes sense but he was the one breaking up, so I don't see why he'd be clinging to me because he has something to fix or tell me.
      And you're right on sayin that he's checking on me to make sure that I'm not happier than him. He's a very jealous guy and he can't stand to see me with someone else or seeing that I'm happy being single and without him. He's always been entitled to me, he couldn't stand hearing me talking about someone else.

  • you guys are obviously pretty young... he doesn't hate you- he wouldn't be trying to reconnect if he did. also he wouldn't be talking shit about you if he didn't care about what you are doing. Did you tell him why you dont want to be with him -because he is mean? if you didnt- tell him! give him examples of exactly what he has done and tell him contrary to popular belief girls dont like mean a-holes and since he doesn't know how to treat a girl why would you want to be with him? tell him you met someone nicer and are trying to be civil and to give you some space and respect- then just be neutral and kind of ignore him_ dont react to his antics.

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  • He's looking for a reaction. Don't give him one. The best thing you can do if pretend he doesn't exist

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