Did my girlfriend go to far?

I'm newly bisexual and I've been dating my first girlfriend for a few months now, but last week when I was staying over at her place and while we were in the bedroom she asked me if we could play a game. I was reluctant to at first because she wouldn't tell me what she meant by a game, but after some pestering and sweet behaviour I gave in and agreed to it. Then she pulled out some handcuffs and said she wanted to tie me up, I was even less keen now that I knew what she wanted but I had already agreed to it so I let her tie me to the bed. Once I was tied to the bed she told me to close my eyes for a surprise, when I did she shoved her knickers into my mouth and covered it with tape so I couldn't spit them out. I tried to yell at her to untie me but her response was "don't be such a spoilt sport, you did agree to this after all", I did agree to play her game but I wouldn't of if I knew what she meant. Now I don t know if I can trust her anymore, I feel used and now she wants to do more things like that which I don t want to. She says it was just a game and I'm making a big deal out of it, but I don t know what to do now am I making a big deal about it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She DID use you. I would not trust her either. She pursued her pleasure at the expense of your feeling unsafe. You are making a big deal of it because it is a BIG DEAL.

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What Guys Said 1

  • BDSM situations are supposed to be consensual. People usually talk about it before hand and set up safe words.

    I can't help but feel like she purposefully skipped those steps

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think she went too far. Engaging in any sort of bondage or even just sexual play should be consented to the whole way. She should have asked you if you were comfortable with what was going on before doing what she did.

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