I married a single mom in her early 20s I'm in my late 20s. I had to travel for work and talked to her about it and she said it was fine that she understood. I was gone for 4 months working over seas in oil fields and saved up money to buy us a house (or at least a large down payment). I would call her almost everyday tell her I loved her and missed her.
when I returned home a work colleague confessed they were having an affair and was sorry.
not going to go into details about what happened (I could write a book about my anger and how devastated I was).
after a few months we worked it out and I forgave her. Some females from work found out and have been (exceptionally nice and flirty, guess they see me as a wounded bird).
everytime I try to have sex with my wife now I think of these woman and before that I had to think of other people to replace the images of her and the other man. Saying I love you to her and passionate kisses became more physical task and words without meaning to me.
i can't lie to myself anymore I forgive her but I can't forget it. Woman at work have been making passes at me and I don't want to be unfaithful. The damage she did left me feeling as if I was inadequate and undeserving of her. I don't longer see her as the beautiful woman I fell in love with but as a roommate I have sex with and say I love you to. How do I convey this without hurting her? She's been trying but it's me not her. By this point if she cheated on me again I'd be indifferent like I'd almost not care. She broke me and I want out.
Most Helpful Girl
... Everytime I try to have sex with my wife I think of these women and before that I had to think of other people to replace the images of her and the other man.
It doesn't have to be etched in stone here, dear, that Now, it is a Combination of Both cases with Different... Faces.
On one hand, you can't Forgive nor forget the past that wasn't a blast of what she did behind your back, and it has led down a Problem path where Now, you are thinking of other women on the job And... Off.
This marriage doesn't sound like it is ever going to go back to the "Way we were," for if two people are Not pulling together as two team mates, than being Soul mates is Not going to be in the picture, with the writing on the wall and all that I am seeing.
You need to sit down and talk this all out with her. Tell her how you feel about this raw deal. If you let it continue, you will soon be on the same page as her with 'Cheating' that could happen, because even Now... You are Cheating her with thinking 'I'd be indifferent like I'd almost not care,' because it seems you don't want to try anymore to see if it might be worth saving your marriage.
Good luck and blessings. xx1