What do you do when an ex calls?

My ex called me and left me a message, but I missed the call. So I called him back hours later, but his phone was off.

What should I do now? Should I leave a text? Or will that seem desperate?

(He broke it off originally; & I do want him back)


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What Guys Said 1

  • What do you say when your ex boyfriend calls you? Not much. You want to keep the call extremely short, to the point, and casual. Don't be too happy to hear from him when your ex calls, but don't sound bored either. Act as if you were busy and your ex interrupted you, but you're taking the time out from whatever you were doing to talk to him anyway. Another big rule for the ex-boyfriend phone call: let him do most of the talking. Not only will it eliminate the chance of you saying something regrettable, but it'll also throw him off his game because he'll feel obligated to provide all the conversation. Let him. After all, he's the one who called.

    Start off with something like: "Hi, it's good to hear from you! How have things been?" Allow your ex boyfriend to make whatever small talk is necessary. He'll probably tell you why he called, so let him. Understand that you need to keep the call very short though (don't let it go more than 2 or 3 minutes), so be ready for the end of it. When there's a break or lull in the conversation, tell him: "Hey, I'm sorry but I'm kind of busy. I don't really have a lot of time to talk right now. Maybe we can talk more later in the week or something, but I'm about to run".

    If your boyfriend suggests another phone call, you can agree with him - but don't suggest a specific date or time yourself. If he asks where you're running off to (one of the bigger signs that your ex still isn't over your relationship) be very non-specific. Tell him you're running an errand, or whatever you feel like. Then, after you hang up? Actually go out and run some errands. It'll help clear your head after talking to your ex for the first time in a long while.

    The best part about such a conversation is how dumbfounded your ex boyfriend is going to be. Up until your ex called you, he expected you to still be pining for him. Now he's not so sure. In fact, now it seems as if you might have moved on with your life, or maybe even be over the break up completely. This will destroy his confidence and make your ex second-guess his opinion to break up. If he was leaving the door to your relationship open a crack just in case he wanted to reverse the break up? You just slammed it shut on him.

    By getting off the phone so quickly, it feels almost as if he's now chasing you instead of the other way around. Your ex boyfriend might feel a little bit rejected as well, and this is good. Again, getting your ex back is all about pushing him out of the comfortable position of power he assumed once he ended your relationship. By seizing back some of the control, he now has to consider the possibility of losing you. And if he still loves or cares for you at all, he probably won't be willing to chance it.

    So what do you say to your ex when he calls? Very little. And it's not so much what you say, but the attitude and mindset you place yourself in when you say it.

    Good Luck.

    - Harvey D


What Girls Said 1

  • Say you don't want to.


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