I was was originally the one who broke up with him, and he had a really difficult time getting over me so I know I'm not coming off too great in this story.
But every time we talked for the past 6 months or so, I ended up in tears because I was in so much pain from jealousy and wanting him back.
finally, last Wednesday, I subtly asked him in non direct way if I still had a chance. I said, "I hope you're not keeping me around in case things don't work out with your girlfriend." And he replied that he no longer had feelings for me and probably never would again regardless of his relationship status. I thanked him for telling me even though it hurts and he was genuinely confused. He said, "why does that hurt? I thought you WANTED to be friends."
and finally I confessed that I still had feelings, I explicitly stated it. And he said that even though it took him a long time to get over me, he no longer had doubts that he was.
The next day, I deleted every message we had ever exchanged which was difficult because we talked on gmail a lot. I cried throughout. And then I sent him an email saying that I was genuinely sorry for how I treated him, and admitted that I've been jealous of his girlfriend for the entirety of their relationship. I told him I regretted ending things and thanked him for making me a better person because I learned my lesson. Then, I closed off with wishing him a good life and asking him not to respond.
But now I'm even more broken hearted than before, because I can't imagine not talking to him. He's been my best friend for 4 years and I can't believe I just cut off all contact forever.
Did I do the right thing?
tldr: I regret breaking up with someone. Jealous of his girlfriend of about a year. Finally told him. He told me he no longer had feelings for me and probably never would again. I sent him an email apologizing for everything and wishing him a good life. Asked him not to respond. Now I'm broken hearted and missing him so much that I can't stop crying, even in public. Did I do the right thing by cutting him off for good?