I told my ex/best friend that I still have feelings, even though he's had a new girlfriend for a year (please read)?

Everytime we've talked for the past year, I've ended up in tears from jealousy. And we talk several times per week. I was crying in the bathroom at work, sometimes even tearing up at my desk.

A little backstory:
We were first best friends, and then lovers, and I broke it off three years ago with the request of being friends again. He was heartbroken and took forever to get over me, until this new girl came and swept him off his feet.


I've been in so much pain from jealousy. I deeply regret ending our romantic relationship, and would do anything to get him back. It's been so hard talking to him so much, and knowing I can never have him.

Because of this pain, I finally told him I still had feelings. He said, "but you've always WANTED to be friends." I told him I've been suffering with jealousy for their entire relationship. He replied that even though he took forever to get over me, he had no doubt that he now was.

I sobbed. That night, I deleted every message we've ever exchanged (I regret this now, it was literally thousands of messages) and sent him a long letter apologizing, thanking him for everything and wishing him a good life. But now I can't believe I cut him out forever.. and i'll never see him again.

MY QUESTIONS: Do you think I should have sucked it up and not told him about my feelings even though it was painful for me to hold it all inside?
Do you think I did the right thing by cutting him off forever after he told me he didn't have any feelings for me?

Thanks for answers!


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I agree, it's time to move on. You did the right thing. You can't have his messages around if you want to forget about him.

    If I were you, I'd send him a message now, out of the blue. You never know; he may have been playing the role of loyal boyfriend when he told you he no longer had feelings for you.


What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you needed this closure. Now you truly have a fresh start with improving yourself and later finding someone new. We all make choices in life. It's an adult who can deal with the consequences of our actions. You made a mistake and tried to rectify it. But he made his choice. There is nothing more you can do but to respect his choice as he did yours. Take a lesson from this and don't take people for granted next time.


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