Should I let him go?

My boyfriend & I , have been together for a over 5 years & a half now , and lived together 2 & 1/2 of that time. 4 months after we had first moved in , he was out of work for 2 weeks & he messaged an ex ' on Facebook , even though it only consisted of 4 messages ; which were just asking how they had been doing , I never got over it. It made me insecure about myself , that he would reach out to an ex , specially because the girl had a 2 month newborn. I recently argued with him because the girl had started following him on another social site , and I reached out to her , and finally got closure and she apologized for causing me so much doubt , she unfollowed him and wished us the best. Because I had been holding on to his mistake two years ago , I've spent the last years accusing him of taking to people behind my back , without having true reasoning & he would always show me there was nothing to hide. We bought a house this year & we were doing great , until my insecurity came back , he started hanging out with his brothers going to bars without me ' and then I would Fight with him , telling him that I was the person whose done the most for him & he was choosing people over me. I was very aggressive , disrespectful & verbally abusive. Unfortunately, I thought that would make him feel bad about leaving me , but in reality I now see how it made him more upset & more prone to want to be away from me: I've tried to apologize to him & acknowledge my behavioral flaws that have damaged our relationship , but he really doesn't tell me anything , he just listens. We're still under the same house, but not communicating much at all, he doesn't even text me during the day && he told me not to make him food for work today. I just feel like I completely lost a decent guy whose done a lot for our future , because I was an insecure wreck who didn't realize it until it was too late. Should I just leave him alone &move..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At least you recognize you've gone too far and that you hade mistakes. It wasn't really necessary to get to this point. Well, now it's up to him, you apologized, but he's still upset. You can just hope that he won't leave you. Well, while you're still living together, show him that your regret is truth with actions, maybe it'll make him accept your apology.

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    • Thank you for your advice. I know it's all on him now , it just sucks wanting to talk to him , or text him but I don't do it because I feel like I would just irritate him , or make the situation worst , if he hasn't texted me first. He still comes home & will watch tv or movies with me. All he does is work , workout & spend time with me at home , and I just don't want to lose a great person.

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    • You're right, you should talk again when you're calm.

    • when he's* calm.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You probably now want to start showing things have changed. Being depressed about it won't make anything better... Get out of the house, go to the spa, spoil yourself with a few nice outfits, go to the salon and get a new hair do and do your nails... Look after yourself and make yourself feel good and happy. As a woman naturally your energy will bring out positive vibes around you... Go out... Keep him wondering and be mysterious! Show him your fun side and remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place! Make cute quirky surprises to remind him of great memories in the past... Your actions will determine where this relationship is heading! Good luck! X

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What Guys Said 2

  • Seems like you realize what you are doing now the key is to tell him then stick to your guns of being able to trust him again. Try to go back to basics. Sit and watch a movie cuddled on the couch. Go out to your favorite restaurant that has a lot of memories or city or attraction. Get the spark back you lost due to jealousy. Because the love seems to still be there. Just a rough patch your going through.

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    • I do genuinely believe we still care for each other. Because when a person is done , they are done. Even though we aren't communicating much , we still sleep in the same bed & have been watching our favorite shows before falling asleep. He's never been the one to tell me to leave , it was always me throwing that in his face to make him feel bad , and yesterday he told me if i wanted to leave I could , but that he wasn't making me.

  • What does he say? Does he want you to leave?

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    • He's willing to listen to me. And we both agree , things will never be the same as they were before. Before I apologized , he told me I could leave if I wanted to. I've always been the one jumping to the leaving part , he's never stated so himself.

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    • I feel like I've already lost him, but there's a part of me that wants to prove to him I've realized my flaws & plan to change them. I'm trying to give him , time & space , but it's very difficult when I was so used to communicating with him throughout the whole day. I've just let him be alone when he goes to the gym , and at work , I don't text him either , so he won't begin to think that i can't even let him thinks things out on his own.

    • You know some guys like being checked up on. It makes them feel wanted

What Girls Said 0

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