What exactly does she want?

My ex broke up with me about a month ago.. then 3 weeks ago she started talking to a new guy.. I'm not saying it's a rebound relationship but I would be SHOCKED if it wasn't.. She was saying that her and I aren't gonna talk as much but if I need advice/emergency I can always call her.. and we can text throughout the day sometimes... she said she wants to take a friendship slow.. especially since she never really been friends with an ex before...


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  • Hi Mate,

    I can understand that you're confused and no doubt hurting at the moment. But one thing that I really see in your situation, is that you're basically being played.

    Stop and think about it... She breaks it off, you learn that she has taken up with someone else near on immediately at the end of the relationship and then says to you that you can message her at certain times and in certain circumstances.

    She is essentially dictating what you can and can't do... Thats just messed up.

    She sounds quite controlling and not to mention a little manipulative and whats worse, you're allowing her to treat you this way!!!

    You're essentially saying its okay for her to walk all over you and that is what she wants... nothing else. She is keeping you there, feeding you 'breadcrumbs' so to speak, which is just enough to keep you around whilst she goes off and does as she pleases and in the event that things go 'pear-shaped' she knows that she has you as an 'emergency life raft' to help her through whatever is going on at that time.

    Once she has regained the strength or whatever it is that she needs and she has taken all she can from you, you will be left there whilst she goes out and finds someone else.

    Either way, you're in a losing position and you aren't showing her or yourself more importantly, that you are a man - you are someone with thoughts and feelings and you are worth something. You deserve more than what she is giving you and if she wants you - she needs to treat you accordingly. If not, then you will go and find someone that will.

    Dont be a doormat, mate. Its only going to lead to more heartache for you and more of that feeling like you're being used.

    Tell her its clear that she doesn't value you for the person you are and if she isn't willing to adjust her ways, then you will retake your manhood and find someone that will.

    All the best mate

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    • That's a good point man, so if she contacts me again.. should I completely ignore her? Everyone tells me.. If I take the right steps, if I show her I'm a new person.. she'll probably come back to me once her new relationship doesn't work out and may realize that I was the person for her... but ONLY if I take the right steps

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