A devastating breakup has changed me. What do I do?

Hi all. I wasn't with him for a long amount of time. His father died early on in our relationship. I was there when it happened holding my ex. I did everything and anything I could to be there for him. After that there was a deep bond between us, something neither of us had been through. We went through a health scare, we traveled a lot together, we decided to get our masters/doctorate at the same school-which is where we both are now, met each other's friends and met his entire family. He said he felt so different about me than anyone else that he wants all his family to know me. We had our bits as normal couples do. 2 1/2 weeks before our breakup I found out about a message he had sent to another girl early on in our relationship. It challenged our relationship but w/time & patience it was something we could move past. Somehow it exposed us to share that we love each other. 2 1/2 weeks was not enough time for me to be past it. After I had found out about the message I wanted to be around him more than I did before. I would get upset about unreasonable things. My 16 yr old cousin died unexpectedly the week before he broke up w/me. He was at the service on a Thursday and broke up with me that Sunday sobbing. He said things this past two weeks were not healthy. He gave up. All the plans we'd made together, moving in together, marriage, buying a house, what we'd do together after graduation & how we saw ourselves having children together was gone. I will never be the same after this breakup. It's changed me. There's always that one love that hurts so much it changes you. I'll marry one day & love him but never how I loved my ex. It was extremely devastating.

Once we both got to school he asked to see me and take things slow. We saw each other a couple of times but once school began he was different. He wanted to see me then didn't, he was hot then cold. He'd shown me nothing but kindness before. This other side wasn't a person I knew. ?

Updates:
It's also important to mention I got a call at 2am about 2 weeks ago saying he'd been getting texts and calls insinuating he cheated on his ex/me for a couple weeks. I told the officer the truth, that this is the first I'd heard of this and that I had not done that. It was unacceptable.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think he was week when he talked about plans in future with you but now he back to himself the original one. I think what you see is what you get based on now and what you see is the real him can't advise stay or not its up to you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Break-ups are never easy, as they're emotional, not logical, especially ones involving some possibility of marriage. Like with any break-up, you should distance yourself as much as possible from him to lessen the blow and heal quicker. In time you'll realize he hasn't change much, but your perception of him.

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