Time for a divorce? I'm not sure what else to do?

He never asks how I am, he doesn't come home for lunch anymore. Some days he acts like he used to, but most days he doesn't. I think he's depressed but won't admit it or get help. I've been trying for over a year to help make things right but noooope. I'm running out of options. He mopes around and is crabby. I talk to him and he doesn't say much. He's not the guy who he was when we first met. How do I get through to him? The situation is complicated because we have kids together. If we didn't it would be easier.
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What Guys Said 1

  • Why do people get married if after your first rough patch the only thing you can think of is divorce?

    You already said you think he's depressed so clearly something has happened to him over the last year. Figure out what brought on his new mental state then suggest counseling. Let him know you're there for him and want to see him happy again.

    Now whether it's marriage counseling for both of you or depression counseling for him, that's up to you guys to figure out.

    • This isn't our first rough patch though. ?
      Okay thanks I'll try. Getting real sick and tired of catering to him and telling him I love him and not getting a response. Making food for him every day and he won't even say thank you or this is good. Like he used to. We've had a few rough patches over the years but this is the worst and it's lasted over a year. I don't know how many years of husband ignoring me I can tolerate.

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    • I doubt he's cheating on you, most people who cheat end up being even more attentive in their relationship as they deal with the guilt. It sounds like something else... could be the money issues.

      Well I do believe you're trying really hard, all I can say is you tell him in the most serious way possible that either he starts talking to you and starts going to some sort of therapy session or you'll be looking for a divorce. I don't usually recommend giving ultimatums, but maybe this will give him a reality check. Even if he's extremely depressed, ignoring you and refusing to talk about anything serious is really selfish on his part.

    • That makes sense, he probably isn't then.
      I'm going to do that, enough is enough. Thank you so much for your help! :)

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