Found nudes in boyfriends phone?

I [24/f] opened my boyfriends [29, m]phone while he was sleep and looked through his phone. In our 6 months of dating, he has never made me feel like I couldn't trust him but I wanted to know anyways. I found what I didn't want to see, nude pictures of his ex girlfriend. They were all straight up nudes that look like she took just for him. It kinda bothered me that she has more of a figure than me. I'm Asian, and I don't have much of butt. The fact that her butt is huge kind of makes me insecure. I want to strangle him in his sleep, but I also don't want to tell him because then he would know I looked through his phone. I don't want to hurt our trust level in the relationship. What do I do? Do I demand him to delete them? Do I break up with him


0|0
614

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you should remember that this whole thing is actually your fault. It'd be different if his ex was currently sending him nudes and he kept them. They're just old photos on his phone. It's a moral gray area that he still has them, because you don't know if he's using them as "fuel" for anything or if he just has them.

    But you breached his privacy. You broke his trust. Regardless of what you found on his phone you had no right to go through his phone to begin with. And those bad feelings you have towards him is completely unjustified. You don't have to like it, but you have no right to be mad at him. You should be mad at yourself however. You did this to yourself and facilitated these negative emotions and if you guys get into a fight, breakup or if you even just act passive aggressive towards him. That's on you for breaking his trust from the start.

    So yea, I don't know what you should do. But of I were you I wouldn't open with, "iI entered through your phone because I can't trust you" . Because even if you say you trust him, going through his phone proved that you obviously couldn't. If you did you wouldn't have done it.

    2|2
    0|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • LOL at wanting to strangle him in his sleep. Sorry but that cracked me up.

    Anyway, you say that he hasn't done anything to make you not trust him, so you made a mistake at choosing to look through his phone. I could understand if you had good reason to do this, but you didn't. Still, you should tell him but do it tactfully. Tell him what's done is done and that it bothers you deeply that you found this. You gotta bring it up even though he may get angry -if you don't it's just gonna gnaw at you.
    Give him a chance to explain what's going on, and decide what to do based on his explanation.

    1|1
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • You looked for dirt and found mud. If he wanted the pictures out of his phone he would have deleted them. Do what you want because you already kind of did it anyway. either call it off or talk to him about it. But the fact will still remain that you went through his phone while he was sleep. you may feel like you can't trust him now but he'll probably feel like he can't trust you either. Also take into consideration the pictures are old

    1|0
    0|0
  • apparently he can't trust you.

    going through someones shit is low.

    1|4
    0|2
  • Are these recent nudes? Sounds bad but I had my ex's nudes for a year after we broke up, just never thought to delete them lmao. Do what feels right to you but it definitely says something if you had no reason to not trust him but you looked through his phone anyway...

    1|0
    0|0
  • Two things.

    He shouldn't have nudes of his ex.

    You shouldn't have took his phone without his permission.

    It's your call if you want to break up with him or not at this point.

    2|1
    0|0
  • I think you should tell him that you looked through his phone and want to strangle him in his sleep for having pictures from a relationship that was not only not your concern, but isn't even relevant any longer. I wonder what would happen.

    0|0
    1|1
    • It is her concern if HER boyfriend / partner is cheating on her.

    • @ThreeMonkeys She's basing that on the fact that he has nudes of his ex, and she feels bad about that because her butt makes her insecure. My brother's ex also lashed the fuck out because my brother had pictures of his ex from like, 4 years ago, she was also a controlling psychowho went into my brother's facebook and started blocking people under his name, and threatened my brother that she'll cut his dick off. My brother broke up with her, and then she was still hoping that he'd change his mind and come back.

      Some people need to be aware of wtf they're doing.

  • I need to ask, were the pics in a folder on his phone and was there a date or month for them?

    2|0
    0|0
  • The way I see it, you're the one who's not trustworthy.

    0|1
    0|0
  • How far back in his phone are they? If they are back from when they were still dating he might have simply just forgotten to delete them, for all you know he doesn't even look at them

    0|0
    0|0
  • When did the photos been sent? What's teh date?
    Depends on thaat.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The worst thing that was done here was you looking through his phone.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I don't understand this thing with modern women thinking that a man gives up a right to all privacy when they become a couple...

    1|0
    0|0
  • He shouldn't make his phone so easily accessible, then again he probably trusts you.

    You shouldn't be looking through his phone. Those nudes could have been from when he was dating her and he just kept them.

    Break up with him if you want!

    1|0
    0|0
  • Better to breakup, otherwise hurts your life.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • Don't feel insecure he broke up with her and is with you now for a reason.
    But you really shouldn't have gone through his phone like that it's a huge invasion of his privacy especially if he's done nothing to make you uncertain.
    You can't really do anything if you want to keep the trust because you already lost it. He won't trust you now.
    If you want to stay with him you have to forget what you saw or confront him and hope he doesn't break up with you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why were you going through his phone? If you have to do all of that, then you should just break up with him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If I were you, I would just leave him without saying a word. Wouldn't even confront him about the nudes.

    He obviously doesn't love you. You're wasting your time with this jerk. For all you know, he's probably sleeping with her.

    You deserve a man who respects and loves you. Just leave this two-timing creep. That, or continue to get cheated on. Your choice.

    0|0
    0|3
    • ? "He obviously doesn't love you?" That's aa gib assumption, you can't know that.

    • If he loves her, she would be the only girl in the world to him. I would never ask for nudes from a guy if I had a boyfriend. That's not love. True love doesn't involve cheating.

  • Recent nudes? What?
    I can't believe people think it's okay to have those nudes if they are not recent.

    He should not be having his ex gf's nudes while he is dating someone else.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Were these pictures sent to him recently or while you two were dating? TBH if they were before he could have honestly forgot to take them off. Or maybe that's his wank off material.

    I agree, if you are upset by the nudes ask him to delete them. He shouldn't have ex girlfriend nudes on his phone. I would be okay with porn nudes. But ex girlfriend nudes, well there's feelings there too sometimes. I wouldn't want him missing her one night and decide to ring her up.

    I think if you feel you can't trust him, then maybe it's not meant to be? He shouldn't have nudes of his ex on his phone and you should have more trust of him.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...