Girls, [25/m] my girlfriend (23/f) My girlfriend of 3 years said we needed a break, and has already started talking to a girl. What should I do?

Her and I have had a great relationship with a few bumps in the road. I have bipolar and she has OCD. We have gone so many places in 3 years and had such amazing times together, but it was, at times, overshadowed by her OCD and always wanting me or her to change our clothes or wash our hands to make herself feel safe from germs. When I would get depressed I would have a disconnect. She knew and would work with me, like I did with her OCD. Her parents, from the start, were overly controlling and I helped her get away from that by moving into her grandparents.

I am 25 and it took me a little why to get my life together, but the past 3 years I have grown so much, as has my girlfriend. She always told me I was the best thing to happen to here. I never wronged her, and always treated her great. Im not exaggerating when I said we had a great relationship.

We both promised we would get help and on medicine. I got on medicine and started college this year, and she got on medicine in the past 2 months and started college with me. I have gotten so much better. I started working on bettering the relationship. I loved her more then ever. We talked about moving in after we both get our bachelors degree's.

Last week we went to this neat place called the 'seven bridges', its a set of bridges in NJ that were never finished, but it has great scenery. I had such a great time, as did she. Everything was great. Then a couple days later she said she wanted a break. I ended up finding out she started liking another guy, who is a recovering alcoholic, who she met at liquor store. he doesn't have a car, and has virtually nothing.

I am so upset over this. We planned a life together, and now none of it is happening. Is there any hope? What should I do? Yesterday she called, and we talked, but at the end, I told her that we shouldn't talk for 30 days and that if she's serious about a break, that Im here.

She found a guy not a girl.


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What Girls Said 1

  • First off, I just want to say that I am so sorry to hear this! My heart is aching for you! :(

    I can't even imagine how hurt you must be. I don't understand why she would leave you. Yes you both had your issues but it sounds like you were both working on them.

    But let me ask you something. When you were putting effort into the relationship, was she? Did she try to make things work or were you the only one?

    Perhaps she wasn't as into the relationship as you were. I'm sorry if this is the case and I hate to even say this because I know how painful this can be. I'm a very loving person and I get so attached to guys it's crazy. I literally fall apart when my relationships end and get so sad. Break ups devastate me. I'm meant to be in a longterm relationship.

    But sometimes we just aren't with the right people. I admire the fact that you are willing to give her some space to figure out where she wants to be. I think that's probably the best choice. I have no idea why she thinks this new guy is so great.

    I get that new things can be exciting, but so can old things!

    I would give her some space and try to keep busy. Lean on friends and family to get through this. Keep working on improving yourself. You sound like a very nice guys and I hope all the best for you!

    • She was really into the relationship also. She told me when we went to eat one last time, that because how bad she was to me and how lately she just has a disconnect. Ever since she started taking this medicine I've noticed a change, but I dont want her to stop because it helps her a lot. So its either get off the meds and have her life in shambles, or move on because the medicine made her basically fall out of love...

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    • Oh I forgot this guy lives in a trailer park. Every trailer park I've been to is littered with drugs.

    • If she is crying about you then that's a good sign. Obviously she misses you on some level. Just trust and be positive!

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