My dad cheated on my mum... wtf is wrong with people?

My parents were married for some decades.
Last year someone told my mum my dad had a woman on side for some years. When confronted with it, he totally denied it, but my mum still wanted to get a divorce. I kind of know it's true, and he did it repeatedly, and not only with that woman. He seems that he believes in his own lies. I think he never saw any problem in banging other women, it was just 'meaningless' entertainment for him, and he doesn't see why anyone would be mad at that (all his friends were doing the same). But he keeps denying but I can tell he's lying.

One year later my dad still says all the time that he loves my mum and wants her back. They have a good friendship. We have family meals all together twice a week, there are never fights, my mum doesn't have hard feeelings for him but doesn't want him back. Nor any man.

Just one hour ago I overheard my dad on the phone talking with a friend about the women they're seeing. Apparently both of them were rotating several women at the same time (my dad is over 60). Yet he keeps crying (literally) for my mum, and talking complaining. I feel sorry for him, but I also feel like being blunt, because I hate these lies...

In all honesty, are all men really like this? All his friends do the same. They all have/had the good wife at home and then they were banging lots of other women on the side (who they call 'sluts'). It's sick.

I'm at the point when I stopped believing men or relationships. If you have a certain life experience (i. e. above 35), please tell me whether my dad's behaviour is 'normal' behaviour?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I'm not quite 35, I'm 30. I've never one time cheated on any of my gf's... not once. I've been created on, but I just ended the relationship and didn't feel the need to try and stay in it.

    I have a circle of guy friends, most all are either married or in some sort of ltr, and I am not aware of any of them doing any cheating. I'm not saying they haven't, I'm just saying I've never seen any evidence of it and it's never been discussed among us. One guy had his wife leave him and their kid for a guy she was having a fling with. So my personal experience is that women have been the cheaters, but in general, I think it just depends on who you run into in life. It just would not be accepted in my circle of friends to be talking and coordinating on cheating.

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    • I'm not a saint here. I cheated once in a LTR, and I felt so bad that I had to end the relationship. I respected my ex and I coulndt stand the idea of having stained my relationship with someone I cared for. People do wrong things in certain situations, but I don't understand when there's no guilt feelings and people are hiding and fooling without any guilt feelings at all... and without changing their behaviour.

      My dad doesn't see it as a problem, that's what worries me! neither he nor his friends. My mum is the cruel one getting the divorce. maybe it's a generation thing...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly so many dudes cheat and it's just the kind of people they are. I used to think cheaters were bad but some people really can never be happy with 1 person and because this society we live in emphasizes monogamous relationships, these people have to do what they have to do.

    My mom caught my dad multiple times having affairs, theyre good now but they went through some wars because ultimately their relationship was shit. They took each other for granted and drifted apart. They got comfortable and my dad felt bold enough to screw around.

    Are all men like this? No, Im in my late 20s and have never cheated in a relationship. My brother has been with his wife for about 15 years and I know he hasn't cheated but I would say everyth 5th guy I know is banging another woman on the side. Dudes are just way messier the way they go about cheating. Don't let it burn you up, your dad might genuinely love and care for your mom but he's obviously still has desires of his own.

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