Girls, Wife wants out. Has appointment in 13 days with lawyer. Says I have 13 days to show her I can become the man she has always dreamed of?

Have 3 kids. Married 16 years. She says she has never loved me. And doesn't have feelings for me. She will give me 13 days because at times their are glimpses of were she thinks I could be the guy she wants. How do I not smother her and tell her how much I love her and our kids? Seems like the more I do the more she pulls away.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Less than two weeks away here, dear, doesn't seem a lot of time for Kissing and making up And... Making up for lost time as well.
    Sit her down and make some plans to go out for a candle light dinner for two. A nice night out will help Begin a Beguine where Trying to iron out a lot of creases may help this from The... Ceases.
    Open lines of convo and some compromise are badly needed here, dear. You both have '16 years and 3 kids' where this is a lifetime of bonding and Where... The bough shouldn't have to break and the cradle fall if you both just try and work as a team as team partners.
    If she didn't have some ounce of "Love" in her heart, I believe she may have picked up and taken the kids out the door a long time ago.
    Good luck. xx

    • I have sat her down., when I try to talk to her and suggest going on a date and talking about what is going on she said I only want to know so I can fix what's broken and she doesn't want to open up and forgive me for any of the things that had upset her over the years. She said she wants this for her. She said it may be the biggest mistake of her life and she may regret it but she is tired of doing the right thing and wants to do what she wants.

    • Okay, I see... And Now I am seeing even More in store with her.. She may be going through a relationship rut and may want her freedom to space herself and spread a wing or two without You.. May I suggest talking to her of Taking a Break right now? xx

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What Girls Said 4

  • 13 days? Anyone can pretend they are better given such a small time frame.
    I think what she's asking for is ridiculous and sets herself up for disappointment if she finds you don't meet her standards.

    Lets just say you man up for 13 days straight...
    What happens when the act is dropped? What will she do then? She doesn't seem very wise.

    In all honesty , I'd have to observe you over the course of several months to see consistency.
    13 days it outrageous !

    • What can you do? Tell her how much you love her and the kids , deliver flowers to her door step , be consistent with your behavior.

  • Why did she marry you if she never loved you? If she hasn't been able to love you in over 16 years then it isn't going to happen in two weeks. She has given you an unrealistic timescale and a stupid task: become someone you aren't. Read my mind.

    Has she told you what she wants?

    • We had a kid and she thought it was the right thing to do because I wanted to get married. She has never done what she wants to do always what everyone else wants for her whole life she feels like she had been a pushover with her family and me and the kids. She wants to put herself first and do what she wants to do. She saucily may be the biggest mistake of her life but she is ready to take that chance because she never had and needs to for herself. She does have a full time job. Graduated with her bachelors two years ago and is in school for her masters. She wants a country house and a simple life. I am just a city boy and she doesn't think I can change. I feel like she is looking for a fairy tale because she alwayscreferences movies as what she thinks our lives should be like.

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    • She thinks that is the only way she can heal and find herself.

    • She needs to get a grip and some perspective.

  • Sounds like she's mad at herself. She married someone she never loved.
    She has only herself to blame.
    You can't change yourself.

    I'm no expert, so I can't say what you should do. :(

    • She wants to divorce for space. Then work things out after wards. Shecsaidcshesxreadcandcsawcitcon a few true movies. She wants a house in the country, learn to fish and shoot guns. All things she never showed interest in until now. And she likes big trucks and I drive a small car. She said she had seen glimpses. But not enough for her to want to stay. She is holding on to every single argument we have ever had going all the way back to before we had a child together. She had never forgiven me for any argument ever. She doesn't know if she can.

  • If treating her well hasn't worked treat her like crap for a few days. Tell her you want the kids and the house if she's leaving then she's the one to go. If you've been treating her like crap then ask about counselling for you both. Ask her what her dreams are. Did she feel unappreciated.

    • She said I spoil her to much. She has seen glimpses of happiness but has never been happy. We started to young. She said she never does what she wants. She said in her mind we will get a divorce still be friends, work things out and get back together. My mind is if you think we will divorce and get back together then she should everything in this now like I am. I told her i am giving her everything I have now. Everyday I am giving her all my love, support and encoraougment. That I don't think that after I poor out my heart and soul giving her everything and she still files that we can get back together because i won't have anything left to give.

    • I cannot treat her bad. That will only hurt me in my kids eyes. I don't want them to be hurt through this.

    • But maybe you being so loving and spoiling her is smothering her. You sound like a good man but perhaps she's at a stage she wants a bit of adventure. A bit of boldness etc. Sit down and ask her what is it she wants. Does she want adventure now. Does she want to try role play sexually. Does she want a bit of a bad ass to come home and sweep her off her feet. Does she want to switch it up a notch. You've been blessed in so many ways instead of losing what you both have talk it through. She could be embarrassed about her needs and desires. Or what she is lacking so throw a few ideas her way to show her you're open to it. That she doesn't need to be embarrassed. Maybe she has been good for so long she wants to be bold.

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