Husband says he doesn't want to change behavior?

My husband and I split up months ago because he was going through a depression and he was constantly talking to his female friend who just so happens to also be an ex. I am not comfortable with the relationship and he knows it. When we got married I knew they were friends but didn't know just how much he talked to her. I asked him to back off on talking to her so much especially when I was around to hear his phone going off all the time. I would never tell anyone to stop being friends with someone but I do expect boundaries. Well we agreed to work on things and he promised to back off so I moved back in. He backed off at first because she was in a relationship and they were both trying to respect their partners but now that she is single again he is back to texting her all the time. I have again asked for boundaries but he is saying he can't promise them to me. I am asking him to just try to make out marriage work and he doesn't even know if he wants to try right now. I just need some advice.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If no kids... kick him to the curb. You're under 29, get back in the ocean and fish while you still have time.


What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he is having an emotional affair. Does he just completely shut out from you? Does he tell you how he is feeling anymore? Or ask for your opinion on anything? Or is it just a situation where you feel like you are the third wheel?

    • He's never been one for talking about his feelings besides saying I love you. I am not sure I feel like a third wheel but it gets old when you are talking to someone and they keep picking their phone up to talk to someone else too. He may ask my opinion but he will do what he wants in the long run regardless

    • I remember you saying that he was willing to better himself but really it happened for a bit and then it kind of lost track and went right round as a full circle and hasn't done anything at all to better the situation. I don't think it will change (his behaviour). I'm not sure how much of a woman you can endure in things like this. It sounds like you are fed up. Maybe you can tell him that it's extremely harmful that he doesn't change, and that you may need to let go of him if he isn't willing.

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