My fiancé and I have been engaged for 9
Months now. We were supposed to have our wedding in 4 months. A few weeks ago my best friend and her husband passed away in a horrific car accident. The baby was in the care of her sister. A day after the accident I got a call from court asking me to come in. I came in and they told me that my best friend and her husband listed me in the will to take care of the baby if anything happened to them. My best friends sister did not want the baby. Gave it to the cops basically. I went to hospital to see the baby. The cops had the baby checked. I called my fiancé and he came as well. As soon as he came into the room he just said "it's me or the baby" I told him I wanted to talk about it, get his thoughts on this. I wanted to have a normal conversation. And he said he's not talking and it's either him or the baby.
So I got up, took my ring off, put it in his hand, and said I want the baby.
He slammed the door in the room and left.
His parents have been blowing up my phone going crazy. Telling me I ruined his life and I'm ruining mine too. I'm 22. And he's 25.
I am financially stable to raise a baby for those of you that are wondering. I own a trucking business. And my ex fiancé was a nurse at a hospital.
I took that baby because I loved it. I was her god mother too. I couldn't live with myself if I knew I'm living the good life while that child is in foster care. To me it seemed wrong. Am I going crazy?
Most Helpful Guy
I can see both sides here. Your ex wanted a life with YOU, and may or may not have ever wanted children, but if he did want them, it might have been years down the road, after he'd had plenty of time to build a life and married relationship with you, and be a COUPLE for a while. In that case, the last thing he wanted was an "instant family", and for there to be a third party (the baby) that would occupy most of your time. All of that is very understandable. There's also the issue that he would be financially responsible for this child, even if you divorced some day (yes, that happens).
Now, of course I see your side as well. You didn't ask for this situation, but it happened, and you stepped up.
The real issue here is that you guys simply didn't want the same things in life, which means you never had long-term compatibility in the first place. You'd be surprised (or maybe not) at how many people get engaged and have never even discussed big life choices like this (children, religion, finances, careers, etc.). This revealed the truth, but the truth was always there. Be happy you figured it out now, before the wedding.6
Most Helpful Girl
l am so very sorry, @surfing_life_54 for the horiffic and umtimely death of your loved ones. However, you committed yourself to Them and Now to the memory With... I want the baby.
It's quite obvious here, dear, your fiance wants no part of the blessed event and that he is not ready nor raring to raise a baby that is not yours nor his, no matter if you were a millionaire over and over again.
You made your choice and He made his. It doesn't look like you both will be going to that alter any time soon. Any bond you both had, this new bough has broken the vow now and the cradle has Now fallen into your lap.
You certainly have a heart of gold to take on this Big responsibility, and in doing so, when you had signed on, you signed on for life. I also believe that you both may love one another, but Not unconditionally enough to Compromise and to have some definite decision Made... So now this bed has been made and you chose to lie in it without him and him without you.
Even if he would be convinced to take on the headaches and the heartaches with the joy for the little girl or boy, he never ever would be the kind of true daddy, instead a dead beat dad, and his parents as well, would always have their sour ball and hands in the cookie jar.
Good luck and my blessings. xx0