Not even close to being over my ex boyfriend from 9 months ago?

My ex-boyfriend left me 9 months ago whilst he was overseas on uni exchange, after a long, strong, happy and solid relationship that we both knew was going to last. To cut a long story short, he didn't even end things with me, he just never replied one day and blocked me and my family on everything. He lives aobut 20 minutes away from me, go to the same university etc. but I have not seen him since. It has been 9 months, and in this time he has not said anything to me, and my family and I are still blocked on everything. It was extremely sudden and unexpected as we were stable and he made it clear to me that leaving me was never something he would ever want to do.

Basically, it has been just over 9 months and I'm not over it at all. For teh past 2 weeks particularly I have been dreaming about him (us) every single night, I still cry myself to sleep some nights and I think about it all the time. I have done everything from start new hobbies (I started martial arts and swimming) to making new friends, concentrating on studies, got a new job etc. but 9 months later and I'm still really, really upset.

Do you have any idea on how I can progress through this? Usually I would think that this is because to me it's unfinished and I got no closure, but I cannot contact him as I am blocked on everything and he would not reply anyways. I have even thought of going to see him at home just to get some closure but it's a bit extreme, and he probably would not answer the door anyways if he's blocked me on everything.

Do you have any advice or help for me or thoughts on my situation?
Thanks a tonne xx


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Good, you are doing everything you can by joining martial arts and hanging with friends. It really depends, how long you two were together?

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    • We were together for one year :/

    • Then it will take 2... but remember it always depends on how soon you want it gone... rushing something like this does not work but if you want you can always enjoy the process of healing. It takes time and each small battle is one step closer to the freedom and forgiveness you strive for

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What Guys Said 2

  • yes many of have been there and i do know what works. it is the only way i found that works and it seemingly is the hardest for most to overcome or to do without bias and or solidified mindsets to be altered.

    Notice how you are doing all you can to keep yourself occupied and busy which is great and minimally distracting and you still are tormented by loss and pain?

    Notice how you hold on to thinking that closure would help? there is no such thing as closure and that is the biggest mind screw people think is needed. all's that does is bring up more feelings and more questions.

    Fact is this gut is gone and you need to accept that. dreams and thoughts still haunt you and you feel tortured by this as it is very difficult to move on with wonder and what if's.

    So this is it, are you ready to move forward and seek the knowledge?
    Surrender everything deep in your soul to a higher power of your understanding. this is the only way. I call my Creator God. We don't need to believe in the exact same belief system just know something Created you and a beautiful flower. you didn't create you or that flower huh? Something did. So whatever you believe put your divine faith into that belief that everything absolutely everything happens for a reason. A reason you may not ever understand but just know some things are not meant to be and some are. This apparently was not meant to be , simple as that. the pain you are feeling now will carry into other relationships that will be far more satisfying and loving without questions of pain.
    each time you feel pain repeat this: God i offer myself to me that you may have all of me good and bad. Do with me as thou wilt. take away my difficulties that victory over them may bare witness to those whom still suffer. may i do thy will always Amen !

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  • The. guy changed I guess the best remidy for you is to love someone new

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well that was an extremely odd thing to do. Even though it hurts, just keep on what your doing (meeting new people, your hobbies, etc.) and remember that a guy that won't even give you a simple reason or reply back is really immature and kind of an asshole. There is no reason in the world to just ghost your girlfriend of 1 year and completely ignore her for 9 months. You deserve much better! Good riddance :)

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  • Hi dear i read your comment and i know how you feel now because i have passed through this same way with my boyfriend and i was so depressed but am happy now we are back together today there are some advice i would have to give you to take and it will surely work out for you i want you to email me on my private email so we can talk better and tell you what to do. this is my email address mccartkatty@gmail. com thanks

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