I don't like being touched, potential relationship problem?

I'm uncomfortable with being touched, especially lightly or tenderly, even by my own family or close friends, sometimes hugs are okay, but I tend to go into 'touchy overload" sometimes and freak out at the tiniest touch. Sometimes I even get nightmares about getting crawled over by spiders and being able to feel each one of their legs but can't move.

once I cried because my mom tapped me on the shoulder, I even ended a relationship with a friend of mine because he wouldn't stop touching me when I asked him.

Im worried that if I pursue a serious relationship with someone, this could be a problem. IS THIS NORMAL? WHAT DO I DO?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If it's that bad you really should seek professional help, not an internet advice column. That could affect so many aspects of your life, you're going to have to learn some way to deal with it, whether it's working through the issue or developing strategies to avoid being touched. It will be difficult for any relationship partner, but someone who truly cares about you will learn to deal with it as well. Everyone deserves to have intimacy in their lives. I truly hope you find a way to have it and enjoy it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Some people don't like being touched, but I've never heard of people having nightmares over it. What exactly is it that is so bad?

    I guess if you make it abundantly clear from the beginning that it's nothing personal that you don't like being touched than it could work. The problem, I suppose, is that lots of guys like to cuddle with girls.

    I think you're best off overcoming your fear. What about being touched makes you overwhelmed? Is there anything you can do to relax and eventually enjoy being touched affectionately?

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    • I wish I knew, its like the feeling of being in a small place for a long time and wanting to move but not be able to, except concentrated in one moment.......know what I mean? it stresses me out, especially when people touch my stomach. Sometimes I go into hysterics for an hour. I just don't like it. sometimes its okay, there will be periods of time when its fine, but when people start touching me a lot I get into that "touchy overload"

    • Sounds like you feel a bit claustrophobic. If you're the one doing the touching, do you still get freaked out? It seems like if a guy is touching you, you could try to just touch him back. That way, in your mind, perhaps you're in control and not restricted in motion etc. I know this probably sounds easier than it is, but just take a deep breath, take it easy, relax, and be yourself. Being touched isn't going to cause immediate or long-term harm; your problem is entirely psychological.

  • sorry, but you sound kinda crazy.

    you need to get over that problem.

    are you an only child by any chance?

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  • it defo is a problem mayb you shuld talk 2 sum 1 .

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What Girls Said 1

  • Try seeing a psychologist?

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    • I can't anymore because my dad says that it will hinder me from being able to get medical insurance.

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