It's been 9 months since we broke up and I'm still not over him?

Is this even normal? We've been together for 4 years and he dumped me because he wanted to be single and care free. It was out of the blue. I think about him every single day. It's not that I still love him or want to get back together because I know things would never be the same again, but I'm simply not over him, I'm still sad about everything. I do stuff I have a life but I didn't date anyone yet, I'm not in the mood for it. I know I will get over and meet someone eventually, but why is it taking this long? I accepted that it's over long ago, but it doesn't make me feel better.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You may not think you have feelings for him, but a part of you does. You remember how much fun you two had together. You miss being close to someone like you were with him, and you want the intimacy. There isn't really a why here. It is what it is. Every breakup is different. You taking a long time to move past this is perfectly normal. Four years is a long time after all. Maybe it's because you don't have closure? Just a guess. It seems that the biggest reasons people have a hard time moving on are that, they still have feelings, can't let go, or don't have closure. If it's possible for you to do so, I would see about meeting him and getting that. It would help a lot. Take all the time you need, you're doing fine :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • LISTEN UP because this has been working SUUUPER well for me. I was talking to my best friend about how I struggle to stop liking a guy, and she gave me the best tip ever.
    It's all about conditioning. You have to actively do it yourself and condition yourself out of it on purpose.

    So every single time you think about him, remember something painful/hurtful he did. Any time you think a positive about him IMMEDIATELY think a negative, and instead of indulging in the positive feeling, think about how he hurt you and how he wasn't so great. Every single time.

    The more you do this, you will condition your brain that when you think about him you don't think good of him. Trust me it really REALLY helped me with getting over my feelings. I've been doing this a few days now, I'm not completely over it because I'm still holding on a little bit but this mental exercise has helped TONS.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Longer term relationships, take longer to get over. That's why they're called long term relationships

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  • 9 months is not long after 4 years together... The normal rule is that you must go through all 4 seasons away from the person.. a full year. You have about 3 months to go... at minimum...

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well get over it thats the only way!

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  • hi dear i want to know if you still love in sincerely

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  • Its normal. Its been more than a year since i broke up with my ex and im still not over him

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