To move on or hold on?

Break Up & Divorce

I broke up with my boyfriend almost 9 months ago. Our relationship was only getting better and better but then one day we just stopped talking and for 6 months we ignored each other... I asked him why this happened and if he was angry but he said that I was the one to stop talking to him and that he wasn't angry at all. In those 6 months he changed a lot. He started acting weird and pretending not to care and to be 'cool' but it is so not him. He has always been a shy guy and he told me his feelings seriously but now he pretends that it didn't happen and he acts like a completely different guy. Can he just stop loving me like that? I was his first love and from the way he acted I knew that he's a keeper but now he is treating me just as a friend, no, even worse than that, he is being awkward and sometimes even mean so I have no idea what he feels for me. 6 months I ignored him but these past 2 months I started being friendly again and he replied in a cold way and he made me become jealous when with other girls, Like he started chatting with one girl in a group chat that I took a part in and he was so nice to her and he was talking in same way I tried to talk to him, he even asked her same questions that I asked him... I wrote him a long message as a way of expressing my feelings becore completely deleting him from my life but then he replied while blaming me agin for being the one to ignore him... I want to move on and I stop caring about him, after thinking bout what person he has became I really start disliking him but it takes one eye contact for me to start loving him again. I just can't just let go so easily and I have no idea what to do, maybe anyone could share their opinions? My friends say that he is hurt so he is pretending but I don't really think so... Maybe he really just never loved me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • ... and your friends are probably 99,99% right. He is hurt. From his perspective , you just stared to ignore him out off blue. So why would he trust you now? Why open up so you can hurt him again? I speak from experience here , I got hurt by my first love and I shut down for 4 years , there was no way in hell I would tell some girl how I feel and give her power to hurt me.

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    • Yes, I do agree with you and I feel really bad about it... I want to change everything but now it's probably way too late. I do love him and I started ignoring him only because of my own problems which was a stupid thing to do. I never wanted to hurt him and I apologized many times but from the way he acted it just looked like he just hates me even when he say he don't.

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    • You know , many "assholes" and "bitches" are nothing more then former nice guys and girls that just gut hurt and didn't know how to handle it. Sorry to break it to you , but he is now in his "asshole mode". Just a nice guy pretending to be something he isn´t. It took me 4 years to get out off that. So , you can risk it , try to corner him and have a honest conversation and open your soul and do everything in your power to show him that you are not going to hurt him , or move on.

      Reply

    • If I have a chance I will try to talk to him since last chance I had was on a trip when we were walking together and his 'asshole mode' was gone, he pretended to be cool but he stayed quiet and pretty awkward... maybe he is just pretending, I really hope that he didn't actually change. Thank you for your opinion. I actually am pretty sure that what you said is 100% right so now I should just try to move on or wait for a perfect moment to get things back in places.

      Reply

Most Helpful Girl

  • He definitely loved you a lot. Maybe something happened to him that you don't know about during those 6 months. I don't want to say this... because I think you might just keep liking him but... the fact that he purposely tries to make you jealous and is blaming you for the break up means that he still has some feelings for you. Honestly, I want you to move on but at the same time I'm sure that I wouldn't be able to move on myself. If you want to move on then I think you should definitely try to start liking someone else and no more big paragraphs about how you feel about him. If you aren't able to move on however, I think you should start ignoring him and just hanging out with your friends. Do the NCR (no contact rule) for 2 months. No texting (delete his number) No messaging (remove yourself from the group) No eye contact. This'll drive him insane and might even make him realise that he misses you and your relationship. Whatever decision you choose, I hope that you're happy Hun :)

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    • I did the NCR for those 6 months and I was the one to start missing him. We went on a trip few days ago and he acted so nice with all girls except me. I felt bad so I decided to also act coldly and in the end of the day we all were having a small party in our ship's room so he got drunk and started acting even worse so I hanged out with his best friend and forgot about him but he started taking my hands and asking me "why do you hate me?" "What did I do to you?" "Why are you nice to him and mean to me?" "You don't care about me" and he repeated those questions making me feel weird next to other people so after ignoring his drunk talk I told him "you hurt me and you are the one who never cared about me" that made him shut up for the rest of the day and when he got sober, he apologized my friends for being drunk and also he hugged me so tight, not like my friends in a friendly way... Maybe I am stupid but it means something to me and trust me, I did try to date other guys but I failed...

      Reply

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • do you still want him to love you back

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    • I want him to be himself again and stop acting someone he isn't. When we were together he was a nice and shy guy who was afraid to even take my hand and the person he tries to be now is making me dislike him, but if I had a chance, I want him to love me again and I want to make things go right this time since I was pretty cold when we were together, I never thought I'd loose him.

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    • hi i want you to email me on my private email there are some tips i want to let you know and i promise you that it will work out well you can email me on mccartkatty@gmail. com i will be waiting for your mail

      Reply

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