Why are guys so cold after break ups?

I know NOT ALL guys are. But seriously though, when it's been like 6 months... why so some people STILL choose to be cold towards you?

  • Guys are only cold if they aren't quite over you
    Vote A
  • They're cold because they hate you
    Vote B
  • It's because of mixed emotions/hurt
    Vote C
  • They like you still but are hurt/angry etc
    Vote D
  • It's down to immaturity
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • because what you think is coldness is just them treating you like just another person they used to know?

    You've been the guy's lover, you've seen the most caring side of him. The normal him will ALWAYS seem cold compared to what you've seen.

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    • It's not though. He never used to be cold with me BEFORE we got together, so what's the difference now? There's none. And yes, it is coldly that he's treating me.

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    • @EmiliaRose2355 sounds like ignoring you is his way of getting the emotional distance needed to let go.

    • Maybe. We are talking a little bit now though, but he still sometimes ignores me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Usually because they are hurting. People deal with hurt in different ways. Some hide it behind a smile others cry , and some even ignore you. Silence can sometimes be a persons loudest cry.

    Emotional pain can be manifested by coldness and silence.

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    • That's me, she cheated on me & I havnt said a word to her for 2 months

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    • You are welcome! πŸ’œ Thanks for the MHO πŸ’

    • You're very welcome β˜ΊοΈπŸ’œ

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • You can't boil this down to one particular reason. Every scenario is different. One reason could be if he's moved on and is not wanting to treat the female too nice like they are in a relationship so there won't be mix signals. Especially if she still has strong feelings for him

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    • Well, I can distunguish between friendly behaviour and romantic behaviour. He definitely isn't giving me either...

  • Nothing stabs as deeply as the rejection of a lover.

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  • Depends, if you brushed them off, they are just showing self respect.
    If they brushed you off, they just don't care

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  • Its easier to get over someone when you just ignore them completely.

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  • It depends, but a lot of the time it's based on their immaturity. They haven't grown up yet.

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    • I think you've hit the nail on the head there... he is the most immature guy I've ever met in my life. And I don't think that's about to change somehow.

  • I'm cold because the relationship is over, so I don't have a reason to talk to her or anything.

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    • But, you shared a relationship with that person. Just because it's over romantically doesn't mean it has to be over on a friendship level. You shouldn't automatically lose respect for a person just because your relationship fell to pieces.

    • I don't lose respect for them, I just simply don't wanna talk.
      I've been friends with some of my exes. Wrong decision. All my exes then joined together to mess with me, that's when I decided to cut them from my life, and that's what I do with now when I end a relationship.

    • Fair enough. But not all ex girlfriends are gonna be as immature as that. And I'm certainly not.

  • My ex girlfriend won't even make eye contact with me.. lol.. so I suppose same reason girls are cold? Hurt I guess.. or playing cool like you don't matter

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    • Well, I'm very warm. But I stopped making eye contact with my ex or acknowledging him... out of hurt and anger towards him.

  • because theyre smart.

    ex means ex communicated. you seem to want him around thats why. nothing good comes from exes hanging around after.

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  • If it's the girl breaking up with him: A), they want to hate you but can't, hating you would be easier probably, C), and D)

    If the guy is the one doing the break up: B) and E)

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    • Oh gosh. Well we mutually kinda split. But then I wanted him back... by that time he was done.

  • Because we want to move on as fast as possible. Talking to the girl only makes things longer.

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  • I don't speak to exes. Done is done. Why peel scabs off old wounds?

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    • Because... a relationship isn't EVERYTHING? Unless you have kids and stuff or were married, you can still have a friendship with an ex lover.

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    • I don't date friends, so there's nothing to go back to if a relationship fails. And I figure if it's not bad enough to cut ties completely, then ending the relationship is the lazy, shitty solution.

    • Well I think there should be some kind of friendship bond before a relationship begins. There's not always a need to cut ties completely.

  • You pissed them off royally - what do you expect?

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  • Because you have more or less told them you don't think they are good enough to be with you...

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  • He's cold because he hates you. Also because chicks are dumb enough to care about what a guy is like after the break up.

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    • A break up should never mean that a person stops caring. That would imply your relationship meant nothing at all. It, by no means, makes a girl dumb for still caring about an ex who she loved and was once always there for her.

  • Depends. None of your poll options quite get it.

    But answer this: why should they be "warm" to you?

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    • My poll options are pretty on point, thanks. Because we shared a history? We had a friendship? We had a romantic relationship? I don't get what it is with some of you people thinking that the end of a relationship automatically means that you cut that person out of your life instantly and stop caring. What the heck is that even about.

  • We just pretend that we're.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I don't know I never understood that shit. When you go through some things with someone and you guys bond yet the next day you can act like they never existed. I think it's a mixture of whats going on in their own lives/how they feel/level of maturity.

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    • Thanks! Finally someone who agrees with me on this. I don't get it either to be honest.

    • Yeah I've never been like that with people and if someone does that to me i really do lose so much respect for them. I grew up with wishy washy people like that and i never liked it so that's why i dont do it lol.

    • Yep, same here! I hear ya.

  • Because they know many girls will interpret them simply being friendly towards her as him wanting to get back together.

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  • It has been about 6 months since my boyfriend broke up with me, and I haven't spoken to him in a couple months or so. Last time I tried contacting him he never responded SO I just left it. Sometimes guys just want you out of their life to keep you off their mind I suppose, unless they have some bitterness towards you?

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    • Why did you contact him though? For what reason?

    • He told me he wanted to stay friends, he said "You are too important to me to completely lose you". So, we tried it. Didn't really work out. I was basically just asking how his summer was going and I never heard from him since.

    • Been about less than 4 months since me and my ex broke up. He was so cold to me and yea I tried to make us work as friends. Took a lot of time and patience though, emotionally exhausting too. But once he came around he just came up with excuses to not be friends and I was just snapped like "fuck this, can't be assed anymore goodbye."
      Then about a few days later he messaged me apologizing and begging for me to give us a chance as friends... totally ignored him.

  • It's because they're done?

    Like... they don't want to associate with you anymore. It's, in a way, a healthier alternative.

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    • I don't think so. If you shared a friendship before a relationship then why on earth should that change just because you don't kiss/hug/have an intimate relationship anymore?

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    • Ah well. I'd much rather be in the minority to be perfectly honest.

    • Okay... but you're going to have a very stressful life because of it lol

  • I always assume they were hurt but don't express it!

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  • I often wondered this and I questioned it to my friends.

    What I got was, "he's hurt but doesn't want to seem like he is", "he's immature", "he's fighting his own emotions"

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    • Strangely enough I got a message from him today saying "I was being a cunt because I still have feelings for you". That pretty much answers it.

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    • Well to be fair, I called it quits and then 2 weeks later he messages me.

      When I say I've been busy I don't mean it like that... I've actually just had an operation.

    • Well, at least he messaged you. That's one thing. Oh, sorry to hear that! I hope you recover quickly. My mums just done with an operation too this week, so I've been busy trying to care for her. Wishing you a speedy recovery! ❀️

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