How did he move on so fast?

We were together 5 days short of a year. Everything was going so good he'd tell me every day he finally found the one. He told his best guy friend he wants to marry me. We never found or anything. Then last Thursday we were at the bar and he danced with a girl. He told me he was so sorry he doesn't want anyone coming between us he loves me.
then he he goes home to the farm and comes back on Sunday and ends it. I was so shocked. He told me his parents told him I didn't seem interested in the farming. Well I knew a bit but never knew what to do. He never showed me ever or I would have helped I would have loved to help. He told me he probably has to take over the farm and he wasn't sure if I'd want too. He never really asked. Then I go talk to him a few days later about what happened because I was so confused what I did. He told me about his parents I could live with that what hurts a lot more is the fact he told me there's another girl that's interested in him. It hasn't even been a week. And we were suppose to hang out tonight for Halloween and now he doesn't want me too bc this girl will be there. He did say he still wants to be friends and I don't wanna lose him completely. He wasn't an ass about the breakup but still. How did he move on so quick when this hurts me so much!
i can't help thinking what he's doing with this girl. He may not be doing anything but still. I did so much for him I bought him so many gifts and got nothing in return. My friends would tell me I did so much for him. And even though I didn't help his parents on the farm is clean up there kitchen (there's 7 of them) so there's a lot of dishes and I'd get it all done. Why wasn't I good enough


Most Helpful Guy

  • If I had to guess (and this is speculation), I'd say he started getting feelings for another girl and wanted to end the current relationship before pursuing the other. He didn't want to be trying to do two relationships at once (aka cheating). The reason he got over you fast was because he had something else already kind of ready to take the place.

    What should you do? Honestly, I would try and move past him. This means burning the bridge so-to-speak. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can really do with hum that will make the situation better for yourself. If you continually question what he is doing with other people, you will become bitter yourself and angry. This will also stop you from other oppurtunities/possible people in the future because you'll be preoccupied with this dude. It will put a damper on your life. Don't confront him about anything. Don't even give him the benefit of a thought.
    Keeping friends with him, or at least right now, is a bad idea in my opinion. Not only will this prolong your feelings and make the after-breakup worse, but it will also make you more bitter/angry everytime you see him do stuff with another girl.
    Just count him as a loss and move on. Yes, it is easier said then done. I know it won't be easy but time and distance helps heal this.

    Also, it isn't your fault. You did everything you could. You sound like a great girlfriend. He could be a kind of guy that loses interest and is flip-floppy. I don't know. But, whatever the reason be, know you did the best you could do at being a girlfriend. That's all you can ask for.

    It really could be his parents gave him some pressure on the sidelines, like a "I-don't-approve" sort of vibe, but I just get the feeling that is more like a cover excuse... Kind of something to try and smooth over the breakup. He doesn't want to create waves.

    The important thing is to know you are good enough! Even if some things don't work out in life, it doesn't mean it is always your fault. Sometimes the cards just don't play right and you have to cut losses and wait for the dealer to deal the next hand.

    If you need more help or have questions/disagreements, feel free to comment, PM, whatever is easier for you, and I'll respond.

    TL;DR; You are good enough. You did and tried all you could. Whatever his reasons may be (like feelings for another girl), try and move on. Distance and time.


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What Guys Said 2

  • sorry for what a happened to you. I understand that you're really hurt, but there are things happen in our life we can't just change it but we've to accept it, and people in our lives we don't want to loss but we need to let them go. this is life and believe me, it's not always fair. what a happened doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, it just means he failed to notice how special you are. just don't be hard on yourself, there are a lot of things that you can do for yourself and beautiful life within depths of your heart waiting for launch, and people are ready to be there for you (your real friends)... just don't lose hope. In the end you'll realize that life must continue and that the world won't stop for you. think about this experience as a lesson in life. someday you'll remember this day and you'll smiling because of it, because it made your life stronger more than what you expected.

    Don't blame yourself and take the time that you need. change your old habits, be more attractive, be more social... ets.
    in the end forgive (YOURSELF )+be proud of yourself= self-esteem (new way for a new life)

    Good luck...

  • you are good enough! he's an ass! Tell him you don't want to be friends! He doesn't want you at the Halloween party because he wants this girl to know he's available, and has moved on from you. His parents should not have such a huge say in who he dates.


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