Am I allowed to be mad right now?

My ex boyfriend and I broke up less than 3 weeks ago. We were together 5 months. He was a complete a**hole during the breakup. I had previously arranged to meet up with him to discuss our relationship because he refused to tell his best friend we were together. He asked my best friend to tell me we were breaking up for him because he didn't want to tell me he wasn't telling his friend, absolute pus*y.

So we broke up, he claimed it was because he was 'too busy for a girl right now' and that we were 'completely different people', absolute bullsh*t.

So two weeks after we break up, he's already seeing another girl I know. I'm absolutely fuming, because he lied to me about our breakup and because he's now with a friend of mine.

I'm hurt he never even actually cared about me at all. I feel like our whole relationship he was lying about everything. I feel so betrayed and angry at myself for thinking he was different. I was never in love with him or anything, but I did really like him.

Is it okay for me to be angry at him? I in no way want him back, he can go fall off a cliff for all I care. I'm just angry and hurt that he lied and that he got with my friend. So angry.

  • Yes, it's okay to be angry at him
    81%(22)77%(36)Vote70%(14)
  • No, you're broken up so why should it matter
    19%(5)23%(11)Vote30%(6)
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure it's OK to be angry! Sounds like he treated you in a way no decent guy should ever do. Now it's over, though, try not to dwell on it too much. Turn round, walk away and don't look back over your shoulder. Keep looking forward, and eventually you will meet a good guy who will love you without any conditions, and will treat you like a lady should be treated.

    Take care, stay safe!!

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    • Thank you :) Oh ya I'm not going to dwell too much. I really dodged a bullet here and I'm so glad I'm not with him any more after all of this. I know tomorrow I'll be back to normal, I'm just angry at the initial shock of everything. I had known him a year before we got together and I couldn't in a million years have predicted he would do anything like this.

    • Always welcome!

    • Thanks for MHG!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • You deserve way better, what a lying scum. He will treat his new girlfriend in the same way he treated you.

    Karma will be paying him a visit sooner or later. In the meantime, try not to dwell on him - you're awesome.

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    • Thank you :)

      Ah I know the girlfriend and I know she will do to him what he did to me before he even gets a chance to think about it.

      Thank you so much :) I'm genuinely glad to be rid of him :)

    • Sounds like the two of them deserve each other then - both manipulative liars with no regard or respect for other people's feelings.

      Good for you for realising you deserve better :)

    • Yep that's pretty much them in a nutshell haha. Thank you so much :)

What Guys Said 6

  • You have a right to be angry, although not with him. You owe it to yourself to be highly pissed at yourself for ignoring all the early warning signs that this young man had his head burried so far up his own @$$ that he hasn't seen the light of day for a loooooong time. Do NOT forget this idiot. Learn from your mistakes. People often show us early on what they are made of. Sure, they all start out as perfect ladies and gentleman so disregard that period of time up until that first warning sign. After that, if you don't address every issue that comes up then shame on you. A zebra can't change its stripes. Have some self respect next time and turn your back on anyone who shows that they are incapable of being a true friend. A good young man should want to protect and defend you, not disrespect, embarrass and harm you. I know you knew the answer to this question before you posted it and really just needed to vent. It is also healing to find that others confirm what you already know. Bonus advice? Anger and resentment are poison to the soul. Try to understand that not everyone is capable of love and friendship and find a way to forgive, but... forgiving does NOT mean you have to welcome someone back into your life. Sometimes forgiveness is mostly for the victim of a situation. It relieves us of the weight we were carrying around. It tears down walls we began putting up around us, preventing healthy experiences from coming into our lives because of the defensiveness old wounds created. Should he one day show true and sincere remorse, you can offer him forgiveness and still not trust him to give him another chance. Often when we are truly sorry for our actions, there is still consequences for our careless actions. Does being sorry for speeding relieve us from paying the ticket? If we are sorry after being caught stealing, does that spare us a court date? I was able to accept an exgf's apology because I could tell she was truly remorseful. When she asked me to cosider getting back together I kindly explained to her that the loss of our relationship was a consequence of her past thoughtless decisions and careless actions. I could tell she really understood and accepted responsibility so I was able to believe in her enough to move forward and continue a friendship. I don't usually recommend staying friends with former lover as it is disrespectful to new romances. However, we had a very long history. Anyway, I hope you heal and feel better soon.

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  • It is okay to be angry at him but. . .

    1. You cannot hurt him with our anger. You can hurt yourself.

    2. "Relationships" like these happen so that you will appreciate a good relationship when it happens.

    3. Accept most of the responsibility for what happened to you. You stayed with him for 5 months knowing most of these facts. You should have moved on much sooner.

    4. You should be angry at your friend who is now dating him but remember: she has not claimed much of a prize by dating him, has she? She is getting her punishment now.

    5. Learn you lessons and then move on.

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  • Not only is it ok to be angry with him, after 34 years, I've come to realize that justified anger towards an ex-love is really the only to get over a broken heart.

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    • Yes that's very true. I had an ex I was with for 3 months and it took me so long to get over him because when we broke up he was so nice about it and didn't do anything bad. With this guy now, I'm delighted to see the back of him.

  • Stop whining over spilled milk and grow up.

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  • You are allowed to be mad but you're not allowed to take it out on him.

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  • He cheated on you, so be as angry as you wish

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    • He didn't cheat on me, but he was an as*hole about everything so I guess I have a right to be angry because of that.

What Girls Said 6

  • I mean, being angry is the logical thing to feel in this situation. But at the same time, why waste any more feelings on some random asshole who's clearly too immature to handle any type of relationship? The best thing you can do is to calm down and let go. Let him be an immature little shit, everyone's going to learn about it eventually and want to stay away from him. You're not involved with each other anymore so just forget about him.

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    • Yes you're absolutely right. I know I'll get up tomorrow and I'll be over this. It's just the initial shock of everything is why I'm angry right now. I've calmed down a lot in the past half hour, but he is still such an a**hole for doing this. I'm so glad he's out of my life right now, his true colours are really showing.

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    • I recommend listening to Swine by Lady Gaga too :D

    • Haha thank you I'l listen to that one too! I love Lady Gaga I'm shocked at myself for not going through her songs too :D

  • You were played with and lied to, anger is an appropriate reaction in this situation.

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  • Yes, it's okay to be angry at him

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  • Be angry, but mostly, be glad you are no longer with someone like that. Better to know after 5 months than 5 years. You deserve better.

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  • you'll get over it later trust me just let the anger simmer down

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  • Yes you should be mad, but try not to show it act cool and let it be past you. Don't let yourself care, and dont act different towards your friend

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    • Oh ya by the time I do pass him again I won't be visibly angry any more haha. I don't speak with that friend much any more but we were close a year ago. I know what she's like and I know she'll end up breaking his heart to pieces.

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    • Hahaha it's okay don't worry about it lol

    • so sorry!!

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