How to break up with a great guy?

I started going out with this guy a month and a half ago and I really liked him at first. Now that we have been dating I am seeing thar our personalities dont really match, he is to docile and shy.
I want to break up with him but he seems so fragile. I feel like he will cry and become depressed and I dont want to hurt his feelings like that but at the same time I dont want to string him along when I am feeling like this. His parents even told me once that they were so thankful for me Because I brought him out of his shell... but I can't keep lying like this everytime he hugs more or tries to kiss me I awkwardly pull away... any tips?
I know I sound like a bitch and mean but I dont want to hurt him more by staying in this relationship.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I see you here, dear, as this Honest Jane who is Reaching desperately Out for help in trying to smooth all of the wrinkles Out of A... Break up with him but he seems so fragile.
    Sit him down, face to face, and break the ice with being nice. Tell him you really have enjoyed being together but you feel in your heart tha things are going a bit too fast for you and you would like to bring this down one notch by going slow with your flow and just Be... Friends right now.
    Explain to him that you love his family and that he is very special, but friendship right now is the way you feel More at ease in Going, and you hope that you both can be friends.
    If he cares about you unconditionally, he will understand. Although yes, disappointed and heart broken inside, he may be this Mr. Nice Guy who won't give up and will be grateful for just Some sort of Try.
    As hard as it may be, he has to know. It would not be fair, @Orchidfur to keep leading you both down a problem path of Denial.
    Good luck and No, not a 'B*tch' at all with what I see on the wall. xx

    • Thank you, @Orchardfur for the Vote of Confidence, and I am quite confident on my own end that you will do the right thing. xx

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you are sure you want to do this and sure you are not going to regret this than tell him gently but be honest.

    HE will be hurt so there is no way around it. Don't do it by text or letters or phone. Do it face to face. Don't take too long to say what you need to say because he will try to talk you out of it.

  • You're gonna hurt him, there's no way to break up without hurting him, so if you wanna cause him less pain, you gotta break up now, the longer you wait, the more he'll get attached, and the more it'll hurt.
    Do it face to face and just be honest. Don't try to put all the blame on him though, cause that will hurt him even more, but don't come up with cliches, that will just tell him that you never felt much for him.
    Don't overthink it, just do it.

    • I did feel a lot for him at first. But with a new year at college and it just doesn't feel the same anymore.

    • I understand, but what I tried to say is that if you go all cliche on him, he might take it as you never feeling much for him.

  • Just sit him down and be honest. A break up is going to hurt there is no option where it doesn't hurt. Just be nice but don't give him any indication that he could somehow win your heart back.

    • Is asking the be friends thing too much? Because we were best friends first and he is a very great guy anygirl would be lucky to have him but he just isn't the right one.
      I was gonna take him on a walk and just talk to him honestly. Maybe he feels the same way but to me he seems totally in love...

    • Show All
    • Thats also what im worried about, we sit next to each other in every class and carpool...

    • You carpool?

      Oh that's rough...

  • People get hurt way worse than that...

    You have no choice.

    Are you going to have babies with him? If not, what's the point?


What Girls Said 3

  • Ease into it gently maybe in a public where he won't want to cause a scene. Just say exactly what you wrote about. It's a break up so he is gonna be hurt but the longer you wait the more it will hurt. Goo luck!!!

  • Meet him and talk about it. It's a bad idea to break up over the phone or on whatsapp.

  • You don't sound like a bitch at all! You have the right to be happy too. Staying in a relationship you don't want to really be in will hurt you both in the long- term. It'll prevent you from finding a guy who you do love and want to be with, and it'll prevent him from finding a girl who genuinely loves him and wants to be with him.

    Being honest doesn't mean you have to be mean to him... you can be honest but tactful. Everyone encounters failed relationship during their life time. People need to lose in order to gain. So personally, i would let him go, so you both can have the opportunity to be with someone who is right for you.

    Staying or leaving will both hurt him, but the pain he will endure if you stay will be long- term and hurt him the most.

    It is best to let him know where he stands, because honesty may hurt him temporarily, but lying to him by giving him false hope will destroy his trust.


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