Will he ever come back to me?

I did so much for this guy. He was my 1st boyfriend and 1st love. I was always bullied and hurt by everyone. He promised he'd never hurt me. He'd always tell me this was forever he doesn't want anyone else. Our friends thought we'd get married. He's 19 I'm 21. We were 5 days short of making it a year. I had a huge plan for that night and it was ruined. I did so much for him and never got much in return. I'd buy him meals, presents, give him massages. And I'd never get a massage back he'd say he was too tired. Gifts he'd say oh yours is on your way (for Christmas, vday, our kinda first anniversary date he asked me 2 weeks before we dated) he never got me anything but a necklace. He never really took me out on dates either. And would pay the waiter but in the car would ask me for half the money. Which is fine but I would pay for him at times. When we'd go to his parents farm he never showed me how to help so I'd clean their kitchen up for them. He told me he broke up with me bc his family said I didn't seem interested in it which I was I was just never shown and that he will have to take over a farm and need someone that would be committed. He promised me he would stay with me and he took my vCard I would have never done that bc I wanted to wait for marriage or wait until I knew the guy was forever. But one day he went too far and I tried stopping him but he did it. He apologized so much and we made it through. But the last 2 weeks before he dumped me he told me I need to help at the farm and he doesn't want me leaning on him in public like putting my arm on him or holding his hand. I just thought it was cute. And I seen other couples do it and I just wish he'd show me off. It's like he was embarrassed by me. I miss him so much and I did so much for him. We are still being friends because he wasn't really an ass and we sit together at hockey games (season tickets) but I miss falling asleep in his arms and having someone there for me.
Will he come back to me? What did I do wrong?

Updates:
I don't get why he didn't talk to me about helping maybe I should have asked but I ruined the best thing ever. And even if he doesn't want me back no other guy has looked at me before. And even if one does I don't know if I can even trust them.
The date thing hurts bc I wanted to go to a movie for so long he's say he was too tired but he'd have sex with me every night. I feel so dirty and used now. Especially bc he said he was thinking about this for 2 weeks but was fucking me during that time
Then we talked so j could get closure bc at first he didn't tell me why. It just happened. That was 3 days after and he said lots of people know we broke up and this girl became interested in him. I was with him every day and Ik they didn't hang out before. But then Halloween he was gonna hang out with her (I thought she was just a rebound) but he found out yesterday she didn't want him by her friend and he texted me like 10 times.
Will he want me back

0|0
73

Most Helpful Guy

  • No. Nope. Not at all

    0|1
    0|0
    • What did I do so wrong :'(

    • Show All
    • No ones ever wanted me. So whatever I'm not good enough obviously :'(

    • I seriously doubt that's true sweetie. Everyone has faults. Maybe you need to figure yours out and work on them. I can tell your beautiful on the inside. No offense but do you have a weight problem?

Most Helpful Girl

  • 'We are still being friends because he wasn't really an ass'

    Uh... So I'd like you to read your post thoroughly, then reread that line.

    He was most definitely, 100%, an ass. He was not into the relationship as much as you were, and led you on instead of leaving you. He's a dick.
    Unfortunately, you let him do that. You didn't see the warning signs, and you let him walk all over you. Now you have a chance to move on, and meet someone better. If you don't take it, that's pretty silly.
    I'd guess that part of the problem is the age difference. It would be different if the ages were reversed, and that's because of the rate of biochemical development in the brain. Women's brains mature faster than males' do, so the gap between the two of you, would be a lot larger than the gap between a 21 year old male, and a 19 year old female.

    You did nothing wrong. Forget him, he isn't worth your time. Move on, meet someone else, and be happy.

    0|1
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's okay to remind yourself about all the good times that you had and recognize that this is the part that you miss; what you really want is to have your fantasy of the way you wish the relationship had been. You don't really miss the arguments and being used and him acting selfish. That's okay; it is normal to miss the relationship.

    You had lots of good times and now you are sitting at home alone on a Saturday night. Remember that missing all of the good parts, the companionship, the affection, the sharing. . . that doesn't mean that you are still in love with your partner. Loneliness is not a reason to try to return to a failed relationship.

    Read the rest of myTake on how to survive a failed relationship and move forward with your life: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11176-a-practical-guide-for-how-to-get-over-your-breakup-how-to-get-on

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 6

  • just try to stop thinking about it do your own thing go out with friends post picture of you having fun and etc. the second he thinks your out forgetting about him he's gonna miss u like hell

    0|0
    0|0
  • sounds like you were his sugermama. I think the farm thing was a stupid excuse for the break up he probubly wasn't as intrested in you as you were in him. Forget him, show him what he is missing

    0|0
    0|0
  • Writing this out, you know what the problem is. You just dont want to accept it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Girl. Of all things you must know as a young woman it is to KNOW YOUR WORTH! You are a beautiful person, all you did for him and he took for granted. You don't need negative losers like that in your life. "Friends" don't treat people like that.

    I've been in your position before where I did everything for a man and he didn't return the favor, and made excuses. Once I realized I was doing all the work, I left. Ever since then God put incredible friends in my life and I feel way more confident and happy now.

    You must learn to love yourself and defend yourself. Confidence is sexy and no man should ever have power over you! Women call the shots, sorry fellas but it's the truth. You deserve someone who throws rose petals at your feet just so you don't touch dirt. People like that do exist, I'm telling you. God will bless you at the perfect time.

    Right now, don't focus on him coming back, because he will, but not for what you hoped. He will want you back but not because he loves you, but because he's greedy and wants you to spoil him again. Focus on you! Love yourself! You already have strong character, just let this be a lesson to never let anyone discount your worth! It is so important!!

    Also, Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is a great album for times like this. Give it a listen and a good cry, block him from your life and await the blessings that are sure to come! God will protect you, he's trying to keep you away from that negativity. Let God guide you to everything you desire because your Ex won't give it to you. I promise you he won't!

    Cheer up and good luck on your journey to a better YOU! One day you'll look back at this and laugh at your ex and pat yourself on the back at your progress. Stay strong! 😊

    0|0
    0|0
    • That was really nice to read :) inbox me if you want. I'd love to talk to you! You seem really positive

  • ignore him completely, and move on with your life, you are so young and kind, i am sure there must be someone better for you. he is a dick, not worth anything of you. cheer up and look forward.

    0|0
    0|0
  • His done using you..

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;