My ex is with someone else but wants to keep in touch with me. Will he ever come back?

A year and half ago I've been with this guy for 5 months, he was separated but not divorced yet. We live 2 hours apart and used to see each other every weekend/or two weekends. The relationship faded, something went wrong and he came up with the "too much too soon" excuse. We really believed in the relationship, the chemistry was 1000% and we wanted to get closer to have more time to spend together. Eventually it ended. He was not ready for it. We kept in touch and at some point I took a 2 months break from him after which he told me that he missed me, that he was thinking to come back with me and that he wondered whether in those two months I was thinking about him. Now he has someone else who lives in his town, he's not in love but he likes her a lot. This sucks!

We decided to be friends but today I told him I can't be friend with him since he always comes up with something he says that makes me upset.

Now he's away for work, far from everyone, he'll be back in May, I just can't forget him and it seems like he doesn't have clear ideas about what he wants. He said he takes things day after day.

He told me that maybe things in the future could be better between us, he always gave me hopes and I don't know whether I should be happy about that or not. All he wants is to take things slowly but it seems like in his head there's printed that I want to commit which is not what I want if he's not ready. He seems he cares for me but I know I should move on. I know he problem is the distance bcs if I lived close by maybe today we would have still been together since things would have been taken differently.

What do you think, will he ever come back with me?

What do I have to do?

Oh I forgot..he has nice memories and thoughts about me and us but he still feels like I want more than he can give at the moment.I told him that distance is the killer of our relationship, that's why it will never work. Maybe I should have avoided it!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Keywords: "...BUT I KNOW I SHOULD MOVE ON." There's your answer.

    IF HE WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, HE'D BE WITH YOU. No question about hide behind this "I don't know" thing, thinking that you're gullible enough to fall for the lie. They know what they want, and it looks like he wants to date around and keep you as a "friend," so when he's sick of the next girl, he can come back to you and you'll be there waiting.

    And HE'S MARRIED?!? he probably has done the exact same thing to his wife.

    Girl, leave him alone and let him clean up his life: get the divorce (because there'll NEVER be a future with a married man), and figure out if he's ready for a relationship and if it's with you. Otherwise, you're just getting used.

    • He's been divorced for 4 months and separated for more than 2 years. When we met he was already separated but had to deal with lots of stuff. Fort that reason he told me that we met at the wrong time and that what I wanted and what he wanted were two different things.

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What Guys Said 2

  • The part that caught my attention was "but I know I should move on". You answered your own question. He is just coming out of a marriage, was he cheating while married? If he was, he's a player, he'll never be satisfied with one woman. Let him know that if you lived close to each other you could give the relationship a shot, but that this long distance relationship does not work for you.

    • No they were already separated and she had someone else. But he cheated in the past and on his current girlfriend so I guess that you're right.

  • You need to see what's in it for you? Pain, dissapointment, heartache or something so good that it's too hard to let go. Only you can decide this, but if he is always saying that he's thinking of you and in the future there may be a chance for the both of you, then you need to walk away now!

    He lays down with someone else but thinks of you? That says it all Ithink..

    If you wanted to be with someone then you would, it's simple.. being at a distance would not matter as it's just geographical, and it's a temprary thing.

    • Hi Sam,

      What do you mean with "He lays down with someone else but thinks of you? That says it all" ??

      There's no doubt that he's with someone else because he likes her.

      It may be true that he thinks about me (but on what extent he does? You can think about your dog!!!), but maybe he said it to keep me there for him...maybe he's a good lier.

    • So you have answered it your self, he's keeping you their just in case something happens to the one he's with doesn't work out... Besides why do you want him if he's with someone else? He's a real good liar and there's more to this than said or you can't really see what's really going on...

      At the end of the day why do you want to get hurt even more? I wouldn't nor would many others..

What Girls Said 5

  • my advice is to not wait on this guy. move on with your life. be happy and just take care of yourself and honestly if I were you, I wouldn't count on him coming back. he's with someone else. the first thing that would come to my mind if I was in this situation is what are they doing? probably hooking up and...that would turn me off from returning to any ex boyfriend.

    • I haven't called him for more than a month now and I'm starting to see the benefits of not being with him. It's been a nice experience but yes it's past!

      And honestly if he's with someone else is because he didn't find in me what he needed.

      Also, you're absolutely right, thinking that he's *** with someone else turns me off.

      Thank you, very good answer!

  • MOVE ON :) girl, you need a new man that will except the pace you wanna take it. You can't rewind a relationship. Because if you could. I would have. But he likes this new girl, go get yourself unavalible. He will want you back. Trust me.

    • Thank you my friend. I'm trying to move on with all my wishes. If he wants me back he'll get in touch, if he doesn't it means that the Lord is opening my way for someone better.

  • Will he f***, you're ugly.

  • Move on.

  • they always come back... the real question is, should YOU be there when he comes back? think logically, never let anybody walkall over you.

    • I don't think it would be a good idea to get him back anyway unless it's in years time, I am lonely and he has changed. For how things are at the moment it wouldn't be worth it to try again, it's been nice what has been. I think I'm now ready to move on!

    • Good for you, you'll find someone who appreciates you. NEVER SETTLE!!

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