What do guys mean when they say they will call you this week? Please advise...

I have been dating a guy for a couple weeks now. Usually we meet once a week. He went away over the weekend and sent me an email letting me know and that he enjoyed my company at our last date, and hoped I had a good weekend. He got back early from his trip and sent me an email letting me know that he was back and hoped I had a good weekend...and "he would call me this week". We did not have sex...only made out. I didn't deny him sex...that's just as far as he wanted to go.

Confusion sets in now...is he thinking twice about our dating or just wants a little time or? Please advise as we have been dating a few weeks and I like what I see of this guy. Things were good. How long do I give him, do I contact him back or ?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to give him as long as it takes for him to contact you. I call this letting the guy set the pace. Because women are so much more programmed for relationships than guys, we move much quicker than they do in developing feelings and then worrying what every little thing they do means. It can be a big turn-off to a guy to figure out that the woman he is dating is worrying about calls and dates. So, I let the guy set the pace in the beginning and it not only gives him the time he needs to see how he feels about you, but it also tells you a lot about what he is thinking. A guy who is lukewarm on you will slowdown contact, not speed it up. He will not try to reassure you he is still interested or worry that you wondered where he was over the weekend.

    Oh, and the only guys who drop you for not having sex right away are guys who can only see sex as being the reason they are dating you. Personally a guy who dropped me for not having sex when I am not ready is a guy I am happy to not see again. I only want a guy who cares enough about me to listen to me and respect my limits. A guy who feels that way about you will not want to lose you over something as simple as sex. Trust me, they are pretty good about living without sex. It is something they have to do for a big part of their single life.

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    • Wrong. You don't "give him as long as it takes for him to contact you". That's a good way to get hurt. YOU decide how long you are willing to wait. If he's interested enough, he will NOT make you wait. Period.

    • How can you get hurt? I did not say give him as long as it takes and still go out with him. Give him as long as it takes him and if it is too long, thank him for his interest, tell him he is obviously too busy for you and don't go out with him. It works so much better than calling him too quickly. And you also get to find out how interested he is. If he takes too long, he's not that interested.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It may mean he's having second thoughts, or he doesn't wanna but a more specific time frame on when he will call. Like "a few days" or "tomorrow". I'd give it 3, maybe 4 days max. If he hasn't called by then, move on. He's clearly not interested enough. This whole thing of "I'm busy" is utter bu**sh*t. Fact.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Whoah! Easy there! You're over-analysing. Trust me. You are. You are already seeing the worst case scenario before there are even any signs of any such thing. Why? There really is nothing sinister in him saying he'll call you this week. What he's saying is he'll call you this week. That's it. Don't over-analyse it. If he didn't want another date with you, he wouldn;t have bothered emailing you letting you know he's back. If anythin, he'd be avoiding you. The fact that he didn't sleep with you also shows that he wants more than just sex and wants to take his time with you. This is a good sign.

    Don't panic. Wait for his call. Don't ring him. He'll ring. He's the cat, you're the mouse. Let him prove himself to you. Show that you have confidence and jnow your worth. Let him fight for your attention.

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    • I agree with the top part. Your last excerpt I don't though. That's a sexist, one sided way of looking at it.

    • Tyrantfurye, nothing wrong with getting a guy to prove that he's keen. If it means playing the cat and mouse game for a bit then you do that. The cat and mouse game can be very empowering for a female because you know your worth and if the guy values your worth, he'll chase you.

    • Yes, guys speak through actions more than words. If you do not give a guy a chance to "speak" by seeing how in earnest he is in dating you, well we women get all confused, try to have these heavy talks with you, and you guys tend to get really uncomfortable and turned off. Women are programmed to speed into relationships. We do not date for casual sex. We date in hopes of finding a boyfriend/husband. We can run you down in our pursuit of love. It's better for us to give you the lead.

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