Guys, when you try to outright forget a girl how do you react when someone mentions her?

Someone I'm trying to get over has apparently decided to forget me completely - according to his brother (who is my friend), "sorry yes you're basically dead to him" and "he never talks about you" and "he doesn't care one way or another about you, you don't exist to him."

(The guy broke off our friendship a while back, I suspect because he figured out that he couldn't be with me, God knows of course.)

Guys who have been there - if you were actively trying to erase a girl from your life like this how much would you think about her and what if someone mentioned her? Like what goes through your head?

I'm being pathetic but I'm trying to understand and trying to do the same as him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Depends on the depth of feelings. The deeper they are the longer the recovery time. If he hates you hearing your name might disgust him but if he really loved you then it would pain him. Rebound relationships are nothing more than an attempt to hide the pain which must be dealt with. Can't hide feelings forever

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    • He used to joke all the time about the future and how I would be "very happy" if he ever got rich and how I should marry someone just like him and blah blah. And how if I ever left he would be devastated and/or how he would follow me to another city. We were never actually together but we were best friends and I think he was waiting to act on it (God knows) - but then he learned about a major deal breaker with regard to him and me and not long after that started pushing me away. The last time I saw him he was driving the van to help me move out (and cross-country) and he stayed in the car and just watched me in the mirror as his brother and I loaded the van (and blasted sad ballad type music that I didn't expect from him) - and when he got out to go home he didn't look at my face as he went by and didn't say anything to me.

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    • I'm pretty sure its a rebound

    • Yeah my friends didn't tell me about it for a while because they know I'm still upset. All one said was "they're always together" - sounds like me and him all over again. Toward the end of our friendship he went to an event with a girl and in all but one picture with her he looked like he really didn't want to be there, despite him acting all excited to go. And this was before we stopped talking.

      I've never seen him truly care about a girl other than family. Except me, in whatever way he did. I am grateful for what we did have, thank God. It's profoundly sad to me to be told I'm dead to him but maybe that's better than visibly suffering.

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