Is it really over with my ex girlfriend even if she has another boyfriend?

OK the story is so long...

We went out for 3.5 years, she was my high school sweetheart :) when we where going out after the 9th month we broke up, and she "went out" with some other guy for a couple of days, then she realized she had feelings for me. We hooked up for two months and then we got back together. Just this past DEC 3rd we broke up. She said that we fought a lot and things weren't the same..(which is kind of true). A week later I found out by her that she made out with his cousins best friend, but never got serious. almost 3 weeks later I find out she's getting to know this 26 year old guy, (shes 19 by the way). so a week later I visit her to let her know that I love her and make her a love letter and stuff...and she told me she was seeing the guy. I got so upset and when I went to talk to her she said the guy asked her out but she told him not yet, but of course...they WHERE making out and stuff :S talking to her the guy called her, and I took the phone and talked with him. I told him that I really cared for her and that he better not do stupid $hit with her (if you know what I mean). I told him that if she really liked her to take things slow cause she had just broken up with me and made out with some other dude...and all these things I told him he never knew and I told him that my ex was really messed up and was being such a whore :( . I got super p*ssed of because if this "dude" really like her he would've defended her and when I told him she was such a bitch and a slut :S!

I got so upset and went home to get ALL the things she ever gave me and returned them to her.

so it has been over a week ever since and I think they are going out now, the guy is 7 years older than her and lives 4 hrs away from my ex. I think he only visits her every weekend, but calls her everyday I guess.

she tells me that she doesn't love me and she doesn't want to know anything bout me. she acts with such a big hate towards me and I only care bout her...i was pushing her in all ways and its been a week since I spoke to her. last time when we talked like civil beings, she told me she would never have a boyfriend like me, and no one would top me. she also noticed I had lost some weight and she said that she LOVED it when I didn't care how much I ate and loved me for how I was...(im not chubby just have a bit of baby fat that I always hated). she also said that she DID loved me and she doesn't know how she managed to be with me for a long time despite the fights and issues we had going. she was being super nice and stuff and we talked for an hour or so without any fights...but now, she's being super mean, and I know if I call her she Will answer, but might be all bitchy :S

I feel better now, but like at moments I miss her and want her on my side and be like we were when we didn't have issues :)

any advice please?

i feel like SO messed up

should I try and win her back? I mean that's what I did the first time we broke up and I DID win her back...

Updates:
well, we have a bank account together, and I wanna close it

but like I don't wanna seem desperate and call her to meet NOW.


we haven't talked in 8 days, should I wait another week? or maybe a month?

then ask her to meet me at the bank?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • alright ill give you advice but you actually have to go through it... I know how you feel I been their and its worst feeling EVER .. and me and that girl went for a year. right now no matter what even if ur in bad terms or good terms . cut off a contact. but don't tell her you are.. just live ur life. she's not gonna come back . take everyday day by day no matter how bad ur feeling just ride through it . but don't initoate contact . you are gonna think of her but always remember she's not mine no more. its time to make you feel better...o yea and I didn't talk to her for 3 months and she was talkin to somke guy and guess what she called me about two days ago crying how much she misses me but we came to conclusion that she still wants to be single, it still hurt to but I'm taking everything day by day and girls are confusing so don't try to understand them

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    • I am forgetting her. but today I just can't stop thinking of her

      maybe its one of those days that I want her :S

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • if you want her back, you need to let her come to you. let her do her thing with this guy (that's obviously a rebound) and sooner than you know it she'll be running back into your arms. you're what she's used to, she finds comfort with you. she probably just wants to experiment a little bit but will come back when its all said and done. and by then, who knows, you may have found somebody better for you. do NOT contact her at all though. this is only pushing her away more and it'll take even longer to get her to realize you're the one for her. make it obvious that she can't just have you the second she snaps her fingers. girls like a challenge! :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like she's only in a rebound relationship. You told us that you think things have changed? Well fix it. Make a list of how you are now, (looks, hobbies, what your family and friends describe you as) and then go outside for an hour, maybe have a run, then come back and think back to how you used to be, and write another list on a different page.

    Then what you can do is compare both, pick traits you love and get rid of the ones you don't and make the ultimate goals list for yourself. Work towards that, and you'll be the guy she fell in love with but better.

    As for the no contact thing, I'm there too at the moment. It's tough, no matter how long a period of time it is, but it's better for you both if you don't see or talk to each other for a while. You can recover emotionally (she won't want you if you're whining and moping) and she can realise how much she loves you and misses you, and dwell on the break up.

    This is the exact same thing that I'm trying to do... but I don't know where to go after it. Maybe in a month's time, if she hasn't already contacted me... then maybe I'd give her a call and ask to meet up somewhere non threatening like a coffee shop? Buy her something and talk like friends and that will be the clincher if you've changed (lost weight, look smokin' hot, have a whole new attitude) and you're nice to her for the whole meeting.

    Good luck bro. x

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  • ask her to meet you for coffee..start as trying to be friends and work your way up from there...if its ment to be...its ment to be

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    • How should I go at it?

      since she might not want to go out since she has a bf, and I can tell he controls her a lot :S

    • Just make it friendly....just say you want to talk...if need be call it "closer" if you guys talk then right then and there you both would no if it would be right to get back together

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