Settling for the easy life?

So I kind of got together with my partner on the rebound over 10 years ago. I have never loved him passionately but he's a lovely kind guy not bad looking with a good job. I fell pregnant and although I wanted to have the children I knew I didn't want to be tied to this man. When I said I was going to split with him friends told me to stay as it would be too tough coping with newborn twins on my own. He's a wonderful dad, we don't argue and allow each other our freedom, but I just don't love him in a passionate way. I have never cheated but have been tempted many times. I'm now in my late thirties and am starting to think if I don't do something now am I going to regret it for the rest of my life but I'm also scared 1) how my children will cope 2) if I will meet someone bearing in mind I'm almost 40!!! Any advice or opinions I've already spoken to him about splitting up but am getting scared and wondering if I'm doing the right thing


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  • I think you should stay with this man & at least try to love him. Give him a chance for y'all to be a family, you never know if you're gonna find anyone like him being that you're almost 40. From the sound of it you have a good man but you're looking for some more exciting?

    • Someone else suggested to me stay with him and just have an affair but I don't want to be that kind of person. I would rather walk away now before it gets to that stage and we can both be friends. It is scary at my age and although I still get guys interested in me they are all younger and I realise they're not looking for a relationship. I don't think I could trust anyone with my kids either. So much to think about, is it right to bring kids up in a stagnant relationship. How will they learn to find happiness in life if their parents aren't happy together but then will I be happy on my own. I just don't know the answers?

    • Whoa do not take that advice !😕
      At least give him a chance to be together as a family then if it doesn't work you guys can be friends. I don't think you'll find someone better & ready to be in a relationship since you attract the younger crowd they are just looking for a good time.

  • You know something. I see this all the time. A girl stays with a guy because it easier. Instead of dealing with the fact of being alone and facing pain. It's really screwy thing you did to this guy even if you didn't mean to but still! I say at 40 it will be hard but when there's a will there a way! You want love passion you better figure yourself out first and find your passion! When you find it a passion that thing worth living... U will most likely bump into love!

    • It's life!

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    • Don't give up! YES you made a HUGE mistake!!! But now is the time to find that passion you so wanted!! You must I am looking for my passion and I pretty sure there are tons of people looking for a passion at all ages! I wish you well! I hope u find that if factor!!! I hope you find love in yourself and love real deep heartbreaking love!

    • Bless you, thanks so much for your kind words. I wish you all the best too and hey at the end of the day a guy in our life should be a bonus rather than a necessity. You are right I need some time to figure out my passions in life and who I am before even thinking about dating again. Good luck to you x

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