HELP!!! What can we do to help strengthen my parents' marriage?

My mother and stepfather have been together since I was about 7 or 8. When they first started dating everything was so exciting. We would go over his place every weekend and we always had Chinese food on Friday's. They would go on dates and my mother seemed happy.
My mother is my best friend and now that I am 20 I am sick and tired of seeing her unhappy. My mother feels more like a roommate than a wife. I still live with my parents so I know, firsthand, exactly why she feels that way. My stepfather does not buy groceries, cook, clean, or do anything besides work and pay the rent.
My stepfather is about 15 years older than my mom. He was also in the Army and has traveled the world already. My mother would like to travel but he is not interested because has already done that. They do not go out whatsoever because he is a "home body". He doesn't do anything or go anywhere. So basically they work then come home and that is it; no social life whatsoever.
This isn't the first time my mother and mentioned separating from him. I, personally want her to separate from him but this is not about me.
I have an idea that they shuld separate that way she can experience life on her own and get some "fresh air". I also thought while they separated it would be a good idea for them to sort of "date" again. And possibly go to a counselor, a neutral ground/person.
I know she is scared but I know she wants the separation to happen. What are some things that they could do while they are separated to strengthen their realtionship instead of just letting it die and ending in divorce. I don't want them to divorce I just want them to have some freedom and reconnect. I love my mother and stepfather but my mother is my number one priority.

Any ideas or suggestions are welcome.
Please be respectful. If you have any questions or want more info leave a comment or message. Thank you!!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sometimes the right thing IS to go separate ways... divorce might be the right answer for them.
    If not, and if your stepfather is unwilling to change his ways, your mother is probably better off making some friends who are at a similar point in life and have similar interests/goals. That way your stepdad can stay at home doing his thing, and your mom can go on fun adventures with her friends...
    It doesn't sound like a great relationship but if they really want to stay together (and each be happy), your mom needs to be willing to leave your stepdad at home and do things on her own (or preferably with a group of friends)

    I hope it works out, you're a good daughter for being so concerned for your moms happiness. Good luck :-)

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