Always one person's fault when someone cheats? If you feel that way, please tell me how you can justify being so absolute. To add some context, let's say it's a married couple with young children, and one parent goes out and has a one night stand.
Do you belive that it take two people to make a relationship work and two people to screw it up?
Do you think that there are times that a person that made such a choice deserves another chance?
If you are one of those people that believes in one strike and you're out... what about the children who are innocent victims in this situation? Do they deserve to grow up without one of the bilogical parents around hardly at all because they made a horribly poor decision one night?
To be clear, I believe that infidelity is a terrible thing. I believe that two wrongs don't make a right. But I also believe that it takes two people to make something work... or not. So while I feel strongly that cheating on your spouse is a terribly poor choice to make, I believe that (at least in some cases) that the other (innocent) spouse may have played a role in what eventually led to that bad decision.
So... is it one and done and to hell with the imminent emotinal train wreck that is barreling down on the kids, OR... can a POSSIBLE second chance be worked out, depending on the details and contributing factors?
- It's one and done, kids or no kidsVote A
- A second chance might be in order, depending the detailsVote B
- If it can possibly be worked out and turned around, do itVote C
Four girl comments and only one guy. Anyone else?
To be clear, I'm not a parent, never cheated or been cheated on. I simply wanted to inspire people to THINK a little bit, before drawing a hard-line "zero tolerance" policy. Yes, infidelity is a terrible thing that leaves collateral damage in it's wake. BUT... once the DEED IS DONE, there are other factors (and people) to consider BEFORE taking further action.
Most Helpful Guy
it takes two to make it work or screw it up.
if he neglected her she will eventually cheat either emotionally or physically and if she neglected him he will eventually cheat either emotionally or physically.
no one cheats for no reason unless there is no love in the first place.
and yes of course the kids deserve a better life. so dont just kick her or him out for one mistake.
we are all human and its our nature to do mistakes. and who are we not to forgive one mistake while "God forgives everyone (if you were a believer)", or while our parents forgive us for everything we do no matter how hurtful we were.
and all this is applicable if it was a mistake and not a love relationship that has been going for a while. and it depends on the details.1
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Most Helpful Girl
Most people tell themselves one and done because their self worth tells them there is no compromising. I believe cheating happens due to a lack of intimacy, someone stopped trying or become complacent, and ultimately a lack of proper communication. Cheating is never the answer and if that line is crossed it is hard to bounce back from... people make mistakes tho. And some genuinely don't realize how bad they screwed up until it's too late... certain instances, I think reconciliation is in order. Relationships can be quite complex tho so there def isn't one answer here.1
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