Taking things slow with ex, what to do?

wont go into it cos I wrote about it in the break up bit - 'he admitted he wasn't over ex'. She ended it badly and it was coming between us, cos he became withdrawn etc, but said everything was fine when I asked him.

still spoke afterwards, him mainly initiating it, he kept turning up at my house/calls/texts/ on Fri nights but was still confused. I told him no contact til he decides. He knows I want things to work as long as he wants to and wants to get over his ex. His says he does.

2 weeks NC: contacts me on Thurs, He played a gig on friday night, (the first one without me there), he text me loads, literally telling me everything that was going on. In his last text he asked if we could meet up 'he needed to talk about things'. I wasn't sure what to make of this but we met up anyway.

At first he was just chatting away. I tried to be a bit distant and not so chatty cos he said he wanted to talk but its so hard not to with him. He told me he had been invited out, one; to see a friends band with his best mate and two; drinks with his workmates. He didn't seem to be saying anything about us so I just told him I'd let him get on with his plans but he said they weren't plans and that he couldn't really be bothered doing either. Again things were going around in circles, so I just said I don't know why you've even invited me to come out and he said it was because he wanted to see me, and that he had missed me. He asked if I wanted to go to see the band but I said I didn't know, because I didn't know what his intentions were. He said lets go cinema, but I told him, I thought he wanted to talk and I don't want to leave things up in the air again. I need a yes or a no answer from him, instead of just assuming.

He told me its a yes, that he enjoys spending time with me, that when he thinks about me, he can never think of any negatives, he says we get along really well and he really likes me but doesn't want to hurt me again because of his problems.

He said he wants to take things slowly and 'see how things develop'. At first I wasn't happy told him that that's been said to me before and I never really saw the guy again, but he said he wants to see me again. In the end, I went home and he went out with his workmates.

an hour later, he text me saying he was going home cos he wasn't in the mood. I apologized for acting awkward earlier and that it was cos I didn't know what to make of everything. But I told him that I am willing to take things slow if he still wants that cos I want things to work and I enjoy spending time with him. He replied back saying he understands and feels the same.

So is this really work doing?

I feel like its a step back from where we were I know it'll be hard.

We moved quite fast last time, literally spoke every day

So has anyone got any do's and don't's for taking it slow in a relationship (especially with an ex)?

How often should I contact him?

What does 'take things slow' in this situation?

Thanks

Updates:
thanks for the reply. any more ideas?

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  • I think he cares about you, but he is confused if he wants to continue the relationship.

    I think he should start missing you somehow, to not see you everywhere and you not being always there for him so he realizes what he had and fight to get you back.

    Tell him to think about everything, ask him to spend some time separate than you and let him think. You do some thinking too, if you want that kind of a guy.

    I wish it all goes well.

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