Should I choose loyalty or to break up? Maybe he deserves better than me?

I've been with my boyfriend 9 months. He's sweet, laid back and does everything in his power to make me happy. But I feel like the most shallow person right now... Because I'm just not feeling it between us.
And to be honest, I obsessed over him the first 5 months because of how amazing our sex was.
but his kisses are always sloppy and just... Makes me want to push him away from me. Sometimes I do. And the more I focus on it,. I just can't think of having sex with him anymore.
i kept pushing for him and I to really be something together, I kept thinking that I'm not going to be that girl that breaks the nice guys heart and that I'm going to stand by my man through it all...
I kept asking him to be my work out buddy but he never follows through... And though he is emotionally there with me, I feel like we don't match physically. (Even though the sex was/is great) I just can't push myself to have sex with him if not everything is good in my head...
Lateky he tells me he loves me and I mumble it back pretending that I'm messing around... I do love him but not in the way I think I should.
i feel like he's lazy and since I'm the type of girl that makes her boyfriend her whole life. I just don't think he fits. I have gained so much weight with him... I have tried to lose weight and get healthy on my own while still being his girlfriend but it must be a mental thing for me... It's bringing me down and I don't know how to adjust my way of thinking..
i keep thinking that I want an active go get em kind of guy... That's still keeps to himself. Maybe I'm asking for too much?
I think our needs our different and he tries so hard but I don't know what's worst.,. Telling him his best isn't good enough or never being completely satisfied with him for the rest of my life...
my morals tell me to remain loyal and stand by him... But my desires tell me at this age of (20) I need to find myself first before I promise my
  • Stay with him, he could grow into a better man (he's only 19)
    Vote A
  • Hurt his feelings and break up. ill explain how below
    Vote B
  • Good fucking luck.
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • So you're not as compatible as you thought. It's nothing to beat yourself up over, things don't always go perfectly and dating is really just trial and error until you find the one you are compatible with, and sometimes it takes a while to realize that. If you don't think you should be in your relationship then yes, break up with him. Yes, it'll hurt him but any break up hurts. Just let him down easy and if you want to try and be friends then by all means see if he's open to the idea.

    • I've just pushed myself to stay with him because I wanted to love him. Now that he's being so lovely and kind.., I can't believe I'm that girl that wants to leave...
      I've tried to talk to him about being more outgoing.. But he quit school and he still smokes weed..
      So many things are just adding up that push me more away from him.. were different and I tried to convince myself that it's opposites that attract but... I don't know.
      Maybe I need to change something about myself?
      I just don't want to be the one that always pushes both of us to do things together that are active or push us to reach our goals...

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    • Yeah, there's just so much.. I feel like he will resent me. It won't feel natural.

    • Well you can't exactly help that. No relationships are perfect all the time. There's always happiness and tears, joy and pain, etc. you can't have one without a bit of the other. Do what you think is right and go with it. He may be upset but that's just part of the process, he will heal, as will you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Why don't you just talk to him? He can't read your mind, you know

    • That's the thing, we've talked so many times and like I said.. He does everything in his power to be everything to me.. But he's just not naturally active and as outgoing.. I don't think we bring the best out of each other even if I do love him.
      I'm always making him change and it might just be me... That's why I'm asking for help.

  • Women in my experiance tend to be very fickle. This is why I no longer date.

    • It's so true, and it makes me horribly sad that I had to be that girl... I'm attracted to him and I love him, but he's so lazy and everytime I talk to him to be more outgoing with me... It's just not him. He's my second boyfriend. I'm 20, he's 19. I've been with him for 9 months and I've been extremely loyal.. I just don't know if we bring the best out of each other

What Girls Said 1

  • LOOK GIRL! love yourself! care for you body and make you important... if the guy doesn't care enough to encourage u or you don't feel him than no.
    Just leave him... he not right for you... just ask him to be friends with benefits if you want! but everything scream to me rhat you want to leave him.

    • I'm staying with him. I feel like I am just in one of those moods and being picky about everything except myself when it's me that needs to be worked on.
      Im figuring it out but slowly.. Im hoping that he will grow with me and it will make our relationship that much stronger and unique. I don't like to give up on someone I care about :/ I was just a little lost and putting blame on somebody I love.
      Thank you tho.

    • Show All
    • Thank you! (:

    • No but seriously google for local therapist for couples!!! I alway tell people to toss the guy over and always forget that if you love someone and they both want the best than seek help! lol

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