We recently broke up, partly due to personality conflicts, and him not wanting to take responsibility for his part. When we had a two week break (he wanted space), he told me after the fact that he had met with his ex for lunch at his workplace. She also works there part time, and lives out of state with her boyfriend. This was part of the reason we would argue, I told him it made me uncomfortable and that he should be putting that focus on me and building our relationship. I told him if he was uncomfortable with me doing that I would never do it, out of respect for his feelings. I have no contact with any of my exes. He told me "Well that's the difference between you and me", that I was being "insecure and jealous".. I told him that attitude contradicts him telling me he cares about me and my feelings. Let me add that he was the type that didn't compromise, it was his way or no way, and always turned everything on me instead of admitting his screw ups and apologizing.
Was he being insensitive to meet up with his ex? Or should I have accepted his choice to be in touch with his her and trust him? Am I being unreasonable?
I know I stayed in this longer than I should have, but I do whatever it takes to work things out.
I have cut off all contact with him, by the way.
Most Helpful Guy
It doesn't matter whether other people think you are being reasonable or unreasonable. Most people are reasonable about most things but most people have areas where they are more sensitive than others. That is part of being human. When you are in a relationship, you should be respectful of your partner's sensitivities, regardless of whether they are reasonable or unreasonable, because you would want your partner to be sensitive to all of your needs, including the unreasonable needs.
Develop the confidence to say "It doesn't matter what you or anyone else thinks about whether I am being reasonable. This is what I need and if you can't deliver it, you are not the one for me. Adios!"
(If you really need to know. . . his behavior was very unreasonable, so much so that I think maybe he was trying to antagonize you into breaking up with him.)1