He was my first love. How do I let go? Please help?

Hello! so my boyfriend and I broke up two months ago. In the end he wasn't very good to me and began to treat me very badly. He caused a lot of drama and stress in my life to the point of our relationship becoming unhealthy, but he was my first love and I thought since we were so perfect at one point that we would work out. However, after the break up we kept in contact. he's tried to get back with me and "talk" these past few months, but he's also been very rude as well. At one point, my car broke down near his home and he knew about it, but didn't even call or see if i was okay. He yelled at me once and told me he was done talking to me and wouldn't take my "childish shit anymore." At one point, He told me he was about to kill himself one night and I sat on the phone for hours making sure he was okay. He confessed that he missed me, wished I went to his concerts, etc. But then the next day, I told him he should talk to his family and get some help and he got very angry at me and wasn't so nice to me. A few weeks ago, he scolded me and yelled at me for drinking and having fun with friends one Friday night. I finally told him i didn't deserve to be treated like this, that i had enough, and blocked his number. Last week, He got into contact with me and begged me to take him back. He told me how he screwed up, how he's sorry for being horrible to me, how he loves me, how hell change and all this crap. I told him no and that he hurt me in so many ways that its over. I told him that maybe one day we could be friends. Right now were friends. We talked last week about his business work with his father, how college is going for me, etc. However, should we even stay friends? Does that even work after relationships? I've never stayed friends with my last boyfriends, but i also didn't love them like how i love nik. does he deserve to be my friend? Should I just drop him and move on? Any


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi, I hope that by now you have this figured out, but I wanted to offer my advice just in case. So I was in love with a guy for three years, and we didn't even date, and it just took time. It took a lot of hurt but it really does pass with time. I ended up finding a guy that made me feel even more than him, but don't go looking for that because that might not be meant for you. I think what you need to do is look at all of the bad things he's done. He may have been good once but that's the past, you can't keep going back to that when that's not even who he is. friends won't work. He's toxic just stop talking to him.

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  • I would not be friends w/him especially since you have such strong feelings towards him. How are you gonna feel when you see him w/a new girl on his arm? I doubt that you will just be able to accept that. I cut all contact to my 1st love, its one of the hardest things I had to do, but I knew I could not just hang out w/him as just a friend, that would kill me and make me very miserable. My ex took me for granted and called me 2 days after grovelling, promising to change, telling me how much he loved me and how he was completely crazy about me. I knew that was all BS, if he truly cared for me that is what he would always be telling me especially because I approached him about feeling like he didn't care about me. Cut all contact and move on, this is only way you will be able to find closure.

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  • He doesn't seem to be so bad that you have to completely cut him out of your life. You can stay friends, but I wouldn't get back together with an a** like that. It once took me a few years to get over a guy. I'd never loved someone as much as I loved him. But I did eventually get over him. It just takes time and a strong will to move on. Don't worry, you won't love him forever if you try to move on.

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