My ex strung me along for months and now he stopped talking to me and I'm mad at myself for allowing it to happen. I know he's been contacting his ex fiancé, even though she is in a relationship and has two children. The last thing he said to me was " I care about you" and "babe I love you". He always comes in and out of my life and it hurts 😢
Most Helpful Guy
I believe that you know what to do, it is just hard to do it. It gets harder the older we get too. It is easy to fall into the mindset that we have all this time invested in someone and we don't want to start all over, that maybe it will be worth the extra effort and sacrifice to fix what we have rather that start all over. There is a certain amount of comfort in familiar pain. We know what to expect from it. We come to almost accept it. The uncertainty of change is more intimidating that what we are dealing with now so we stay in the situation we are in, no matter how unhealthy it may be sometimes. One thing we need to see even clearer the older we get is that time is precious. The more time we spend in the wrong relationship, the less time we have for the one we were always meant for. Not just that, the right one could walk right past you because you are unavailable and you may miss the most fantastic thing that could ever happen to your life. I live by a few stead fast rules today; One, I casually find out how a girl feels about her father early on. If she has a bitter opinion of him chances are she may not believe in men enough for a healthy relationship. A girl with parents who remained married is a good sign for me. Two, if I do not see a relationship heading toward possible marriage before we hit that one year mark this is not a good sign for me. Three, if a girl breaks up with me I let her go then and there. This only happened once since I redefined my standards and it shocked the girl I was with at the time. In her mind she thought she would be able to help me see a point she was trying to make but all it did was show me she was willing to risk losing me. I simply have come to feel it is a matter of self respect. If a girl ever shifted her focus from me to another, even for a moment, I hope it was worth it to her because she is stuck with him now. I may not know exactly how the perfect healthy relationship looks like, but I have learned a whole lot about how it does not look and if I see any of those major warning signs I either address them and resolve them immediately or move on. I have wasted far too much time on the wrong people. I have learned valuable things about myself through these failures so it hasn't been a complete waste and I have made peace with my past as much as a man can I suppose. All of this has helped me be in better charge of my future. I will make new mistakes, of that I am sure. From now on they will at least be new mistakes0
Most Helpful Girl
He's keeping you on the hook. He says stuff like that before he ditches you so that it will most likely keep you around as an option if he needs easy and quick attention off a girl.
You need to start getting over him. Recently my best friend gave me a tip which worked AMAZING for me, it took about 1 and a half weeks and I'm completely over him?
Anyway, she reminded me that you have to actively make yourself get over someone. You can't just wait for it to happen. And I was like, how the hell do you do that?
Well, anytime you think of him, just remember some of the horrible stuff he's done to you. Literally every single time you think of a memory of him, or something positive about him, or you start to miss him, immediately after remember something horrible he did. Then your brain will start to negatively associate him and seriously it helps you get over them so quickly.1
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