I'm still in love with my ex and I want her back. She's seeing someone else now, but still says she loves and misses me. I don't know what to do?

Thanks for reading. To make a long story short, my ex& I had been together for almost 5 years. We had a great relationship but we still had our ups and downs. She had cheated on me at the beginning but I forgave her & took her back. Things were great after. I was 20 & she was 16 when we started seeing each other. the last few months of our relationship were strained. I was down about trying to find a job & it was also a tough semester in school. I let it affect our relationship when I shouldn't have. She also became easily irritated& would get angry over little things, but other than that I thought our relationship was fine. Well the day before my birthday, I got a random text from an old friend (who is a girl and she's also engaged) wishing me happy bday and wanted to meet for lunch & catch up so I did. My ex didn't like this girl bc she thought we had an intimate past (we didn't), but we use to be very close. I didn't tell my ex about going to lunch with this other girl b/c I didn't want to get into an argument. I shouldve just never went in the firs place. Well my ex found out &caught me in a lie. She broke up with me that day, deleted all photos of us & blocked me on everything. I had to move away for the summer for an internship. We still talked but it became less and less. I found out she started seeing another guy within a month of us breaking up. His family has a lot of money& a cattle ranch. she's been exclusive with him ever since, but they aren't officially in a relationship yet. We talked a few time since I came home. She basically has told me that she can't work on things right now but hasn't ruled out a future for us. I told her how i felt. I still love her & want to be with her. But she's been spending almost everyday with this new guy &she lives close by so I see it everyday. I've gone NC since school has started, but she's contacted me almost once a month to ask for school help. Last we talked she had a breakdown about her life&told me still loves me.


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What Girls Said 1

  • This is heartbreaking... I know how you must be feeling... wanting more than anything to have someone back in your life is the only thing I've been able to think about for the past eight months since my boyfriend and I broke up.

    In the very beginning of your relationship, *she* cheated on you. Then years later, you go out with a friend who was never more than a friend to you, and she can't find it in her heart to forgive you for not telling her about it first? That doesn't make any bit of sense to me. She has done way worse things to you, and you took her back.

    I think it's a very good sign that you two are in contact with each other. I also think it's amazing that she's honest about her feelings for you that she still has. And it sounds like she's going through a bit of remorse for ending things with you. I think you should be cautiously optimistic because right now she is telling you things that don't add up with her actions. Spending all the time in the world with her new boyfriend, while saying she still loves and misses you... she needs to make up her mind, she can't have the best of both worlds... and you don't deserve to be strung along in hopes that things could come back together between you two. I hope the two of you can have a heart-to-heart conversation soon. You both have let each other know how you feel about everything... now is the best time to take the next step in the right direction... hopefully together again.

    Best of everything to you.

    • Thank you for your reply& I'm sorry that you're going through this as well. There are more details that I wasn't able to fit in but that pretty much sums it up. To clarify though, when she has contacted me, it has mainly been to ask for help with school which I refuse to do while she is seeing someone else. She's asked three times so far. She was asking me to meet for coffee when i first came home but she hasn't asked something like that in a long time. She finally told me she was sorry for everything she had done a month ago but still didn't want to work on things :( I feel like i've done everything i possibly could to get her back and still hold onto hope where ever i can find it, but it seems less and less likely each day

    • And she and the new guy aren't in an official relationship as far as i know. she's only told me that theyre seeing each other exclusively. they spend a bunch of time together (almost every day). I also don't know how honest she is being with me about her feelings. i feel like if what she said was try, she wouldn't be doing this and would at least try to work on things with me.

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