Pregnant and heartbroken?

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and in the past 2/3 weeks iv been very tired & already had a kidney infection. I was with my boyfriend a year and throughout the year we have had on & off problems surrounding his drinking so he cut down & barely drank anymore but last week he went out on a fri and I didn't hear from him until tues he never done that before, he called to me on the sat very drunk to tell me he's depressed because he came home everyday to me in bed or tired and felt nothing from Me. Worse he drove to mine drunk. His dad heard and followed him. Abit of a scene outside my house. His dad then said il collect his things tomorrow from u apologised to me & said I don't need this in my life (his dad said) what happened? I'm heartbroken. He's 30 so he's not a baby


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't like to judge, but I feel like this is not the type of guy you should have kids with.
    However, the deed is done and I feel like the best thing now is to concentrate on you and the baby. Firstly, all the stress you feel, every time you cry, the baby basically feels all those emotions (hormones and neurotransmitters are passed through the placenta, I guess).
    Anyway, you need to learn to be self-sufficient- mentally, emotionally, financially. Plan as though he won't be there when the baby comes, because he is unreliable and selfish enough to put his emotions before everything. The worst thing you can do is rely on this guy, you need to rely on yourself. And if he is there in the end, it's a bonus.
    You MUST stress to him that he has to become responsible and clean up his act well before the baby arrives. He needs to prove as much, because an innocent child doesn't deserve to be around disfunction.

    Nothing awful has happened yet, you've spotted some red flags that need to be addressed, so don't panic. But I say to every woman, even if you're happily married- learn to be self sufficient. That's the best preparation.

    • Thanks yep I agree. He is perfect in every other way just an ass with drink but I ended it anyway because I don't trust it won't happen again

    • Good for you, hun. Being a single parent isn't ideal, but he probably would have made it harder-you don't need to be an emotional wreck every week as well as being a mother. Soooo many people have been single parents before you and so many will be, after you. It can and has been done. I can already see how much you love that baby! That's more than enough.

    • Thanks for MHO, by the way :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Why u had realitionship with a loser I mean was he the only man on the earth?

    • His only flaw Is when he drinks he's an asshole. Unfortunately it's a big flaw but he's very good in every other way. I still ended it though.

What Girls Said 1

  • I was in a similar situation, and after the baby came along it got worse. I had to end my relationship for the sake of our baby and my own emotional state. My child is 8 now, and it was hard being a single parent but not as hard as a guy in my life who made it twice as hard being a parent.

    Unless he changes you need to break-up. It is possible to adapt and be happy on your own, but this type of relationship will bring you nothing but total misery. Sometimes you don't realise your own strength until being strong is the only choice you have.

    • Hid only flaw is he is snowing asshole when he drinks perfect in every other way but it's a big flaw so I finished it anyway

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