I want to settle down and be the girl he deserves.

me and my ex have been together for 4 years, had the perfect relationship, never argued, never fought. we were BEST friends. he doesn't go out, doesn't drink, doesn't party, has few friends, just works and goes to school. earlier times in our relationship I went out a lot, and he started controlling me I starting lying about going, and telling him I wouldn't go when I did. he found out and broke up with me, then got back together the next day. then after a week or so he said he couldn't get over the things that happened in the past, because I've done it a million times. now I'm older, and want the same things as him I want to settle down and be the girl he deserves. he says he doesn't know what he's going to do yet if he wants to be with me again or leave for good, and needs space and time to figure out if he wants to trust me again or not. what do you guys think will he be back? and what's the best way to get him back. I begged for him at first, but now I know for sure the best way is to just not call or any kind of contact at all. any advice is helpful, I'm so depressed and heartbroken..he was the love of my life.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Trust is the most difficult thing someone can give another person, and when that is broken numerous times it will become even more difficult for that to be made right. He obviously loves you because he is willing to think about things, Is it enough to get back together, now that is the big question. Communication is key to any great relationship and without good communication it will fail most defiantly. He needs his space for sure, that you are right on, don't try to force anything because he will just see your faults, I can understand loosing who you thought was the one, but you really do need to realize you did this yourself. Only time will tell if he wants to be with you or if he can't take that again. And if he does decide to get back together you really need to be totally honest for anything to work. And that really goes for any relationship. Period

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What Guys Said 2

  • yeah...i can see why he will feel betrayed after all the lyin you did. and its even worse for him because he never cheated, lied or did anything to make you loose trust him you know? so when you did something like that, you really disapointed him and lost his trust. now you said something about him controlling u...now do you mean literally or by controlling, you mean he told you not to go to parties anymore?...because most of the time, most controlling guys are not the ones that walk out of a relationship. and before you say anything to him, you really have to think this through...are you willing to quit your party life?...u better think that through because you can't even dare lie to him and keep going out to parties if he was to give you a second chance. if you are a 100% sure that you are willing to give that life up then I will suggest maybe sending him a text, or a message in Facebook or MySpace or something because right now, he doest want to talk to you or hear ur voice. watever way you communicate with him (except talking of course), just keep it brief. you can type something like this " hey I was just checking to see how you are doing and I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart. I am so sorry for all the lies I told you and I understand how it hurts you. I promise you if you give one more chance I won't blow it again. I know you are hurt babe and I understand but loosing you wast the most painful thing I ever felt in ma life." ...lol lsomething like that as long as you mean it! ( I don't even know how I came up with all this sh*t..lol) but I hope this helps...oh and yeah when you send him ur message, that's it!..dont right anymore messages..it should be just one.

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    • Yeah I've already done that, he knows I'm willing to do anything and everything for a second chance.. the thing is..hes already given me a million chances. and I screwed the up. I'm taking full blame for this. when I talked to him he just keeps saying I'm sorry but I don't know what I want to do yet.. I just don't know.. he says he needs time to figure out if its what he really wants, so that's what I'm doing. I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm holding on to something that's gone already.

    • Wow..yeah so why are you even complaining about how long he is taking?..i didn't even know he had giving you a million chances. well personally if I were him, I would have walked out of the relationship without looking back ( I'm not tryin to be mean or anything...he gave you a million chances!!) so the fact that he is even still saying he will think about it should be a relief to you so you better give him all the time in the world to think about it because you put yourself in this situation..

    • Believe me I know its my fault, I'm not saying it isnt. but I was also like 16 years old when it happend I was a kid. he's done things too nothing as bad but he's not perfect. and I'm also not complaining about how long he is taking. I'm just simply asking what would be the best way to get him to give me a second chance.. I know the whole reason I'm in this situation is because of things that I did. but also people CAN change, and I did. I'm just asking what do yall think he will do..

  • If he was "controlling", you should have broken up with him in the first place. Regardless of that, you lied to him several times. Trust is not something that's easy to gain. He might take a few weeks or even months to make his decision about you.

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