I love my boyfriend, but I don't think I'm happy anymore?

I have been with my boyfriend for only 6 months, and I'm starting to feel just off with things. I love him. We've had a bit of a rough patch the last few months, (I'm honestly surprised we've lasted this long.) my insecurities are mostly what caused it -- er I guess so anyways.
I'm all over the place right now, like he makes me laugh and smile, and I love that, but then I think of how we rarely have sex anymore. The sex is absolutely amazing when we do have it, but it's just not enough for me. He's not as affectionate as he once was either. I dunno, is it normal for a relationshiup to become almost stale after a few months? If so, then what the hell is the point in dating anyways?


Most Helpful Guy

  • What do you mean by "a rough patch the last few months?" How did your insecurities cause the rough patch?

    Is lack of sex and affection the issue?

    What do you mean by "stale?" Do you mean you want him to act in ways that would surprise you?

    He may have a lower sex drive than you and just may not want as much sex as you. It's also possible issues from the relationship have influenced him to not want sex or affection.

    I would try and understand what's happening between you two rather than giving up based on frustration. It's very likely you will have similar issues in another relationship and without being about to identify what is happening more closely you can find yourself in a similar situation.

    Most answers I've seen on gag to questions like these assume what the person has is bad and told the person to end it, often without knowing what's really happening beyond a superficial depth.

    • So how can we potentially fix this?

    • Show All
    • I think my insecurities are an issue. I can't really afford counselling right now -- so trying to get everything out that bothers me is, quite difficult. I don't really want to become a burden on my friends so I usually keep quiet. I've tried journalling all the stuff that bothers me and it kind of helps -- I mean its better than nothing. Alternatively, I wish that he would understand that I have issues with anxiety and insecurities -- but at the same time I totally understand why one would't want to stick around with someone like me.

    • What insecurities do you think may be causing an issue? Feeling anxiety is very common :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is an example of a relationship that's not meant for the long haul. Doesn't mean it was bad. Doesn't mean you should regret it happened. Doesn't mean it didn't have some good/happy moments. It just means he's not the guy you're supposed to end up with. Simple as that.

    • I really hate realizing that, but I know its true, and perhaps he does too.

    • I know the process is tough and the realization is tough. It'd be easier if it just worked. But remember this is by far easier than marrying the wrong person and spending the rest of your life mediocre or unhappy.

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What Guys Said 1

  • A few months? My relationship is going on eight years and we're twice your age and we have sex morning and night.

    No, this is why you get to know someone before you marry them. If he's not wanting sex with you pretty much all the time maybe he's getting it somewhere else? If he's lost interest you need to find a much more interested guy.


What Girls Said 4

  • If it's not for you, it's not for you! That's the beauty of being young, you get to experience many levels of love and you get to date people. You get to find out whose best for you and it's okay if it doesn't work out, you don't have a time limit. It's not normal to become stale, mine is still hot on fire and it weirds me out but then i just realized that the past relationships weren't meant for me, even if they did last so long (3+ years).

  • Sounds like someone I know -__-"
    Anyways, things become sour and things fall apart. You can always try and renew everything but in the end if there is no effort from BOTH people, it will never be what it once was.

  • then its time to move on

    • End it cold turkey kind of deal er?

    • unless you want work it out with couples counseling!

  • The reason relationships become stale is because people stop putting the effort in like they did to win you over... at the beginning of the relationship.

    Love is measured by the bad times, not the good, and a great relationship Isn't dependant on having the absence of problems, it is having the ability to resolve any issues... together as a couple. So communication is paramount. Talking to each other , and letting each other know your needs and how you both feel. Compromising is also necessary.

    So let him know that you feel unhappy and that you need more affection. If he loves you ( which I am sure he does) he will make the effort. 💜


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