Did I Do The Right Thing/What Do I Do Now?

I told my ex last night that I can't be friends with her because how can I be a good friend if I'm not over her? When she tells me about guys she like I help her out but it hurts to do that. I tell her about potential women in my life & she's basically like go ahead have fun. We both care about each other but the problem is I still care in the relationship sense & she cares in the best friend sense. She wants me around & cares when I disappear but I need time to collect my thoughts & figure out what to do so 2-3 weeks should be emough. I don't want to hurt her again by leaving but I don't want to hurt myself by staying so I have two options: either get over her so I can be the friend she deserve or say goodbye & realize I'll never be over her. What can I do? (if anybody has any other options please let them be known asap: time is definitely of the essence)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Try and be patient and give the situation some time. You already know that you cannot be her friend right now, and I can absolutely see where you're coming from, it seems the right decision.

    If you are meant to be friends then taking a month or so away from the situation will not change the the friendship you have and if it does, then you never had a friendship to begin with. Spend some time doing the things you enjoy, spend time with friends and family who support you and make you feel good. Most importantly, look after yourself, nurture yourself, try to be the best you you can be, for you, no one else.

    Ultimately, you are not responsible for her feelings. If she is hurt by your absence then that is her emotion to deal with. Please let yourself be 'selfish' and think about what it is you need and want.

    Also, it really does sound like she has moved on. You need to accept this. Don't hang around being her 'friend' in the hope that she will want you back. You will not only be dishonest to her, that you accept that the relationship is purely a friendship but also to yourself, prolonging your own suffering as you watch her move on.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's fair to say this. I think basically saying you need time to get perspective and sort of dis-associate your feelings for her is fair

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What Girls Said 3

  • Forget her for the time being. Move on and don't look back. Find another lady. Once you are settled in a new relationship, then maybe you can become friends with your ex again.

    Remember, that your new lady may not be happy with this. So, be prepared to turn your back on your ex forever. She can't expect you to remain very loal after a break up.

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  • In my opinion it's never ever wise to stay friends with a ex you still have feelings for. It doesn't work, it's messy and just leads to more hurt.

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  • Personally, I could never remain just friends with someone I still loved. It would be too painful, and much more painful having to watch someone I love... love someone else. I'm not strong enough to do that. It takes an emotionally strong person to accept only a friendship, when deep down you want so much more.

    Letting go is hard and so painful, but holding on is prolonging your pain. Ask yourself which will hurt the most... cutting all contact or having her in your life... only a friend. Which ever one will cause you the least pain, then that should be your choice.

    You need time alone to heal. Don't make a rash decision until you have had time to meditate on what is best for yourself.

    Sometimes you have to accept... some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life. You can't have a happy future if you are still holding onto the past, and you will never find the right person if you are still holding onto the wrong one 💜

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What Guys Said 1

  • Block ignore move on

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