Girls, what are her intentions? what should I do?

My ex girlfriend (she dumped me) and I had a talk a couple of weeks ago...
in the beginning of the relationship (4 years ago) i was cold and had anger problems due to a past relationship ( but i didn't hit her or anything, i was just mean, i changed but then she got that attitude and told me she couldnt change).
she said I was the love of her life, and she doesn't imagine herself with anyone else... I told her to come to my hometown (she moved away) to visit me and hang out or whatever to which she replied she has nothing to look for in this place, BUT wtf, Im "the love of her life", right?
Anyways, she then told me she broke up with me because the relationship wasn't her priority and I was an obstacle for her in her way of accomplishing her dreams, because I don't have a lot of money and stuff (i deduced that was the reason)...
She then went talking shit about how I was boring in the relationship and never surprised her, how I messed her up and how she could never go back to being loving and sweet with me again..
after that she showed me a love song that reminds her of me and told me how funny I used to be... she then said she felt empty in the relationship, which means she wasn't in love with me anymore.. but claims she still loves me...
but why not let me be? why come and talk and humiliate me and then pick me up with love words?
how can someone love you and hate you at the same time? supposing she does love me


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What Girls Said 1

  • The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indiffrence :) Which means if she still acts hurt towards you, she at least has some sort of feelings for you. Maybe she is confused by her own feelings also.

    • she bragged about been hit on by hot dudes constantly in the university she is at, she told me she kissed one who was hotter, had tattoos and was more successful than me,.. but later said she was just lying... she's smoking weed now.. and she doesn't care about seeing me (she moved to another state) because she wouldn't even make an effort to do it... I think she's not in love with me, she's just used to me, and doesn't want to lose me because of the bond we have, I just know her.. it takes time to build that with another person.. she doesn't love me or admire me, appreciates me or whatever because thats what i senses when we talked... ... what do you think about it? its not a rhetorical questions by the way, i just need your most sincere opinion and advice since I love her too much but she's toxic, its like another person.

    • That could also be the matter.. I have the same thing with one of my ex boyfriends; I feel safe around him because he knows everything about me and used to love me. Difference here is that none of us loves each other, we just feel safe with each other.
      Your ex girlfriend sounds like she is going through a confusing and tough phase, as she seems careless and has started doing drugs. And I also think she thinks that she has you around her finger, she knows that you love her, so she's not stressing one bit.
      Also, I think she does have feelings for you, at least in some form. Otherwise she wouldn't have bothered with trying to tell you about other hook ups and what not.
      I think if you want her to realize what she has missed and to set her mind straight you need to cut contact. It sounds brutal since you love her, but that is the only way she will come to her senses about you. If she doesn't, then good riddance cause she's already past.

    • I did that and she was trying to contact me, calling me and such, I was acting hella cold and distant when we talked.. I blew it off when in one convo she got corny and stuff and I tried venting a bit, after that the power switched but from this moment on I won't contact her, even though I really want to know if she kissed another dude... you don't know how painful it can be to be in this situation, she just got to college and I graduated college as an engineer and she's making me feel as if im not a good catch, just because i don't have money or im not successful. I've been working out a lot trying to lose weight too and get fit (i got muscles but i want a six pack) , and i feel like im not attractive enough because she said everyone out there is hot, she never said i was hot in the relationship. She even told me sex wasn't that good with me because i didn't make her cum, she was almost there but never cum (it was hard to get the opportunity to do sex) and she rubs that on my face?

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