We need to take a break? What's going on?

Okay, so he told me I need to “take a break, and chill”. He and I are just friends; really good friends and he has a girlfriend (they just starting dating though). We’ve known each other for 5 months and yet we did have feelings for each other. He pushed me to get rid of my feelings for him because now he has a girlfriend. I’ve been just be trying to just be like a “sister” to him. I had a really bad night a couple of days ago, and him being my best friend, I went to him. Let it slip out that I still wanted a lot with him and still wanted to kiss him and he wants to still cuddle with me, just as friends. But he told me that he thought I let go of those feelings for him, where really I’ve been struggling. I told him I was in love with him. He said he loves me too. But Did I freak him out? Is it my fault? He told me he was giving me a week to take a break, and that he won’t talk to me until next week. Ending the conversation with “love you hope you have a great week beautiful, this isn’t me saying goodbye but just me saying see talk to you later” I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do. How should I handle this? And this whole entire fight started because got really depressed over him being happy with another girl. I wanted him to call me. We don’t hang out often because he’s always over his girlfriends’ house, never makes time for me anymore. Therefore a simple can you call me, we haven’t talked on the phone in a week. And he said “no”. I was so done with our bullshit and I told him how I felt, he never listens and just can’t understand why I want him to text me or call me, where really if he cared; which he says he does! I’m really confused and I’m scared on what next week will being between me and him. We’ve been fighting and then making up for the past 3 weeks. Where he told me that him having a girlfriend wouldn’t change me and him, and things have changed even though he said he didn’t want them to.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well... He has a girlfriend, and you know girls are the same as guys... We get jealous if you are with someone else also.
    My personal feelings based on your story is that yes, he may have feelings for you... And it may feel good for him that you have feelings for him... However, he still has a girlfriend in which he has to spend his time with... & I think, though he wants to keep you as a friend... Somewhere in the back of his mind he thinks perhaps he can hold on to you and if things don't work out with his girlfriend... "Perhaps" you and he can have something else.
    Kissing cuddling spending time with you or haveing feelings for you in a romantic way... Would be technically cheating.
    Personally, what I would do is let him go if you can't keep him as just a friend or acquaintance.
    When the week is up, don't call him and don't text him... Let him come to you, if he don't, just let him go.
    Also, you need to consider your wants and feelings, if you want to have a romantic relationship with him, and he's not ready for that due to having a girlfriend already... You need to respect that.
    Perhaps in time... Later down the road under different circumstances you both may reunite and develop your relationship further... But until then I would suggest getting out and meeting other guys and socializing.

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    • Ur advise really helped, I've been crying over him, really confused. Maybe yeah, I need to let him go and let him come to me, but just like anyone you love, it's hard to let go. He has already told me that he would hate to leave me, but I feel he won't come chasing after me. So that part scares me, it's hard to let go. And I just wanna make him miss me. But thanks xoxo

    • Trust me when I say "I know" it's hard... The thing is, you need to have the courage to let things be, even if it's not what you want... Keep your self respect with you, you matter.
      I know it sounds cliche, but you will find other loves, a man that will choose you, and continue to choose you... Don't sell yourself short is all I'm saying.
      Again... I urge you... Let him be. The best thing you can do is let him alone. If he opens the door for you and quits his girlfriend, maybe give him a try... But if not, don't beg for him... There is a guy out there right now you won't have to lower your self worth to be with... Someone who will hold you high.
      I can't tell you how many heartaches I've had in my life... But I can tell you that every time one door closes another opens, as sure as the sun rises. Its up to you to learn this lesson, I know its hard, but no matter what happens... Trust, "you will" make it through this, always.
      Best reguard

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • He said he loves you in a friendly way in that context. And he has expressed he doesn't want you to have feelings for him because he doesn't feel those same feelings. He probably only does see you as a sister-type, but he is attracted to another girl, whom he wants to date, and he doesn't want you interferring. It hurts but you gotta walk away with dignity that try to force him to admit feel he may not even have. You're just a friend to him.

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  • So, you want him back?

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    • Yeah but for what it's worth, he texted me yesterday saying, if I could I would come over and cuddle with you to make all of this better. i am really done feeling like all I am to him is a joke

    • Yeah I would do the same!

  • He wants to distance himself from you because he has a girlfriend now and he doesn't want to complicate things. Just keep your distance and respect his wishes.

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