Am I being selfish? (Long story)?

I maybe getting a divorce. Things have been rocky ever since we got married front the start. He started acting different once he joined the military. He didn't want to get married to me until he found out he could get more money. He wanted me to drop put of highschool and just get a GED but I didn't want to, after that he blamed my family for it. Well we got married anyways. Things were rough but not terrible. I payed to get all my stuff down to move in with him right after highschool. We stayed in the same apartment for about a year then we moved out, he said he'd make more money if we moved in with a roommate. They never payed and it was no big deal but then he got a huge pitrut mix dog as a puppy and expected me to take care of it by myself. He got it because I didn't answer the phone. The puppy ended up destroying a lot of our things and the apartment. Then we moved again. With new roommates and it was okay at first but then they started to harass me about rent and I have no access to his account to pay bills and such and I didn't have a job at the time because it was el Paso Texas were can only speak Spanish to get a job. So they left and we had to pay for a place he insisted on and we couldn't afford. Eventually he got out of the army even though he had no plans, but he said he was going to school so I was quite. Now he crashed out only car we had, refused to get a job and says we will just live off my 7.50 pay. I talked about going to college to make more money he said that was a stupid idea and I should just learn online through YouTube. He has plans but nothing seems to be panning out and he keeps buying expensive knives like 200-390 knives, expensive cameras, and I saved like 200 dollars I told him I was saving up for a car and he took it and spent it. I was so upset. I just don't know if I can take it any longer and my sister offered me to stay with her in Dallas. I'm I selfish for wanting to leave to take a break?


Most Helpful Guy

  • One question I have to ask: has he ever been deployed? You said he was in the military. Has he ever seen combat or been overseas on active-duty (Iraq, Afghanistan, etc.)?

    I'm not saying that his behaviors are necessarily excusable. But is there a possibility that there might be something else going on with him (i. e. PTSD), and maybe he needs some support instead of cut-off?

    Just a thought...

    • He's never been over seas.

    • Ok, then, based on what you described, he sounds like a chauvinist that needs to do a lot of growing up. I wouldn't call yourself selfish. You need to do what's right for you, and from what you posted, it doesn't sound like staying with him is the answer.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Hell to the no your not being selfish !! Your excuse for a husband need a good dose of ass whooping for being such a useless provider , and that's a damned fact. God don't have kids with this mooch

    • If you do choose to take your sister up on her offer plan it out where when you leave he knows he isn't welcome there , not even to visit. Get on your feet and carve him out of your life. He will be the anchor that takes you down if you keep him in your life

  • You are not being selfish for thinking about that no. From what you are writing it doesn't seem like he has much respect for your marriage. He gets a dog without speaking to you about it first (and that's a big responsibility) and he spends money on trivial things like knives etc. when you actually need it for important stuff. In this case I think he needs to get his priorities straight. A break might be good for that. Either he wants to stay married to you and try to make it work by being a bit more responsible and communicative. Or he wants to keep moving from place, wasting your money and neglecting your ambitions. If he loves you he will be willing to work on that, it really isn't too much to ask. And if not.. Well, you will be able to move forward with that in mind. Anyway you have to decide whether the upsides are worth the downsides or not.

  • Learning online and from YouTube! You can learn from there but it's different than the college or the university he must know this as an adult! You saved 200$ then he spent it on camera. Your sister offered u to stay with her and move now are you selfish NO so leave this shit


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