Girls, Meeting ex girlfriend for coffee. How to convince her i've changed and we are worth another try?

We started dating in early July. Started as friends with benefits but quickly excalated. Shortly after we made it official she noted that I wasn't being as affectionate and not very outgoing. This is true, as I had lost my job and apartment and was going through a lot of stress. We broke up for a week and I thought it was mutual, until she called me a week later crying wanting to talk. We talked and got back together but I didn't change much. A little over a month ago we broke up again, mutually. Except this time I was the one who couldnt get her out of my head for a week and wanted another shot. I called her and told her I missed her but she said she hadn't changed her mind. We met up for dinner and I explained myself and what I wanted but she didn't budge. In the process she explained what was making her unhappy and gave it to me straight. It hurt but it was what i needed to hear to change, not for her but for myself. Mostly about how I wasn't outgoing and expressing myself and the "sparks" werent there. If I had held her hand more or expressed how I felt when it mattered things would have been a lot better but I kept quiet. I went NC for a month until yesterday, saying how it sucks we dont talk anymore and asked her if she wanted to get coffee sometime. She agreed. But I am sure she still doesn't wish to patch things up and I dont blame her. She probably knows I miss her and want her back.
How do I handle this meeting? I want to convince her I have been trying to change for myself and we are worth another shot. But I dont want to come off as needy. All of the relationship forums suggest not mentioning the breakup but I dont see how to avoid it. I feel in my heart we both needed to experience the time apart to realise what our relationship was worth, but now that I am the one wanting to get back together, I think she is convinced its not worth it. help


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What Girls Said 2

  • Buddy you are on the wrong track.
    1. she senses you are not into her like she needs = she's the needy one
    2. your tact should be opposite to beggar.. AGREE with everything said! Go with the flow and suggest since you can't get her out of your mind/heart, perhaps being friends would be OK with all concerned?
    3. if she goes with that, then BE THAT and I promise someday SHE will make it all change into lovers... if you don't push that direction!

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    • but i think she does know I want to make it work, i just feel she has moved on and given up that I would change. Her decision wasn't impulsive and probably thought about it since last time we broke up. I know its cliche to say people dont know what they have until its gone. But I feel in my heart we both needed to have time apart to realize how we felt about one another. First time, she called me wanting to get back, this time its me but when I contacted her she still felt indifferent.

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    • I already posted "what I suggest" for all the open minded to read, follow & find success

    • And so it goes on GaG. Maybe they should change the name to something like "ask random people on the Internet to affirm your beliefs"... or some shit like that...

  • Well the push pull thing is incredibly unhealthy

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